Uthando nokucabanga okunengqondo akuvamile ukusebenzisana, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ingqondo iyaqonda ukuthi kufanele ikhohlwe indoda engayifuni, kepha indlela yokwenza ngayo - ayikwazi. Okufanele ukwenze ukuze ukhohlwe umuntu omthandayo, izazi zengqondo zizohamba.
Ungakhohlwa kanjani umuntu omthandayo?
Naphezu kokungahambi kahle, abesifazane ngokuvamile "banamathele" kumthandi hhayi kakhulu ngenxa yemizwa eqinile, kodwa ngenxa yokwesaba isizungu nezinkinga ezimbi eziphathelene nabo. Khohlwa umuntu ongakwazi ukuphindaphinda uma ushintsha indlela yakho yokuphila futhi uzithanda wena.
Izazi zengqondo kuleli cala zincoma ukuthi zithuthukise ngokwabo. Umuntu owanelisayo akasoze azizwa enesizungu, ukhululekile emphakathini ngokwakhe. Esikhundleni senkululeko (kodwa hhayi isizungu), umuntu onjalo ubona izinzuzo eziningi, isibonelo, ithuba lokukwenza noma yini, hhayi ukubika kunoma ubani. Umuntu okhululekile angathola njalo isikhathi sokuzilibazisa, ukuhamba, ukuzijabulisa.
Ungaziphoqa kanjani ukukhohlwa othandekayo wakho?
Ukuze ukhohlwe ngokushesha umthandi wangaphambili, kumele akhishwe ngokuphelele empilweni yakhe - asuse bonke othintana nabo efonini, uyivimbele ekuxhumaneni nomphakathi, futhi kangcono - susa ikhasi lakhe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, udinga ukwandisa isikhala sakho sokuphila. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukuqala ukuvakashela amathilomu nezindawo zokudlela ezingavamile, ukhohlwa indlela eya kwalezi zikhungo lapho ukuvakashelwa kubanjwe khona, wenze abangane abasha, thola izinto zokuzilibazisa ezintsha, ungene emidlalweni.
Iphuzo elibukhali nomuntu othandekayo licindezela , ngisho noma lona wesifazane ngokwabo anqume ukuyeka u-chevalier ongewona ohlala naye. Ngemva kokuhlukanisa, lo wesifazane oshiye yedwa ungathatha indlela yokuzibulala-ukungena ocansini yesikhashana, ukuphuza utshwala noma izidakamizwa. Kulolu cala, udinga ukuxhumana no-psychotherapist oyokusiza ukuba uzwe uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa nokulahlekelwa okungenani.