Izingxabano ziyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwanoma yimuphi umuntu. Inkinga yesimo esingenabuhlungu kakhulu yezimo akuyona into entsha, kukhona nesayensi ekhethekile ebhekana nezinkinga zokuxazulula izingxabano - i-conflictology. Futhi inkinga yezimpikiswano phakathi kobaba nezingane kubonakala sengathi idala njengaleli zwe. Eminyakeni eyizinkulungwane edlule isizukulwane esidala sikhala ngokunganaki, ukungabi nemfundo, ukungabi nesiyalo, ukukhathazeka kanye nobukhulu bentsha. Ngakho, ukubhalwa kwesitsha sebumba laseBhabhiloni lasendulo sekhulu lama-30 BCE lithi: "Intsha iyonakele kuze kube ngaphansi komphefumulo. Abantu abasha banonya futhi banganaki. Isizukulwane esisha salo namuhla ngeke sikwazi ukulondoloza isiko lethu. " Ukubhalwa okufanayo kufinyelelwa ethuneni lomunye wabaFaro baseGibithe. Kuthi ukuthi intsha engalaleli nabangalungile ayikwazi ukukhulisa izenzo ezinhle zokhokho babo, idale izikhumbuzo ezinkulu zamasiko nobuciko futhi, ngokungangabazeki, iba isizukulwane sokugcina sabantu emhlabeni.
Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, okuncane kushintshile. Kusukela ekuphakameni kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, abantu abadala babheka "ama-antics wezingane", bekhohlwa isikhathi lapho bona ngokwabo beyizingane nabasha, njengoba bezama ukuhlala futhi bazicabange bakwazi ukwenza izintaba. Futhi esizukulwaneni ngasinye kubonakala sengathi "babengafani, abazange bazivumele into enjalo" futhi uma lesi sizukulwane siqhubeka siziphatha ngendlela efanayo, izwe lizophonsa phansi kwalasha futhi libhubha. Futhi abantu abasha bayamangala ngokungajabuli, bacabange ngabazali babo ngokuthi "abaqhaqhakazile" futhi bacabange (kodwa, ngenhlanhla, akusho njalo): "Ungaba kanjani nelungelo lokungifundisa?" Futhi ukuxabana komndeni nokuphikisana kuyaphindaphindiwe, ngesizukulwane ngasinye esisha sabantu. Kodwa ngabazali bethu bacabanga kangaki ukuthi sixazulula yini izimo eziphikisanayo nezingxabano nezingane zethu ngendlela efanele? Phela, ithonya lezingxabano zomndeni emntwaneni akungabazeki - umuntu ojwayele ukuzithoba emandleni abazali uyoyesaba ukuphikisana futhi aphikelele, futhi abonakaliswe ngokuvunyelwa ukuba akhule njengama-egoist ayinandaba nezidingo zabanye. Okwamanje, izindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano nezingane azifani kakhulu nemigomo jikelele yokuxazulula izimo ezinzima. Isikhathi sokuthola indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano ngendlela efanele.
Ukungqubuzana okungapheli kwezizukulwane: obaba nezingane
Ayikho umndeni ongenza ngaphandle kwempi phakathi kwabantwana nabazali. Futhi akukho lutho olwesabekayo kulokhu, ngoba ukungqubuzana "okulungile" kusiza ukuxazulula ukungezwani phakathi kwabahlanganyeli bayo, kwenza kube lula ukuthola isisombululo sokwekethisa ngaphandle kokuphambene nesithakazelo somunye wamalungu omndeni, futhi ekugcineni, kuqinisa ubuhlobo kuphela. Kodwa konke lokho kuyiqiniso kuphela ngokuphathelene nezingxabano ezixazululwe kahle. Ngokuvame kakhulu, izingxabano kanye nokuphikisana kube yimbangela yezikhalazo ezifihliwe, izakhiwo zengqondo, futhi zingabangela ukuhlukaniswa emndenini.
Indlela yokuxazulula kahle izingxabano phakathi kwezingane nabazali?
Ukwenza ingxabano ingabi nhlobo, landela lawa macebiso:
- Ungabhekeli onecala phakathi kwabanye. Isivivinyo sokusola omunye umuntu kunzima kakhulu ukumelana naye, kodwa zama ukuzivimbela bese ubheka isimo ngamehlo omunye umuntu.
- Musa "ukuchoboza" ingane ngegunya lakho. Ukuthi ukhulile akusho ukuthi wonke umuntu kufanele anikeze izithakazelo zakhe ukukujabulisa. Izingane zifana nabantu abadala, futhi zidinga inhlonipho.
- Yiba nesithakazelo empilweni nasemibonweni yengane, qaphela ukwethemba kwakhe. Into ebaluleke kakhulu emndenini ubuhlobo obuvamile, obunobungane nokuthembela. Kulokhu, ngisho noma ingane iphutha, ingafika futhi ixoxe ngezinkinga zayo nabazali, futhi ingabalifi ngenxa yokwesaba noma ihlazo. Futhi kuphela kulokhu, abazali bafumana ithuba lokusiza ingane ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi bayisindise. Yiqiniso, kuyadingeka ukwakha ubudlelwane bokuthembela kusengaphambili, hhayi lapho ukulwa okuvulekile sekuqalile futhi zonke izingane zithatha inkulumo yakho "ngama-bayonethi".
- Ungalandeli ("Uma ungenzi njengoba ngisho, ngeke uthole imali ephaketheni."
- Zama ukuziphatha ngokuthula noma ukuhlehlisa ukuxazulula impikiswano ngesikhathi lapho wena nomntwana bezolile, "nciphise".
- Zama ukuthola isisombululo sokwehlisa. Isimo lapho umuntu eyanelisa izithakazelo nezidingo zakhe ngenye indlela engalungile. Ukuze ukhethe indlela efanele kunazo zonke yokuxazulula impikiswano, cela ingane ukuthi ivela kanjani esimweni esiyibonayo. Ngemuva kokuthi ubhale zonke izinketho, khetha eyodwa noma unikeze ingane yakho inguqulo yesisombululo
izinkinga.
Ukungqubuzana kwabazali kanye nezingane ezindala kungaba namandla kakhulu kunezingane ezincane noma ezentsha. Phela, kulokhu, izingane zivele zenziwe ngokugcwele nezinqubomgomo nezinkolelo zabo. Kodwa ngisho nakulokhu, zonke izindlela ezingenhla zihlala zilungile futhi zisebenza.
Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu - khumbula ukuthi isizukulwane esincane asikho kangcono noma sibi nakakhulu - kuhlukile. Futhi uma kungenjalo kulezi zingxabano, uma bezingekho izingxabano kanye nezingxabano phakathi kwezingane nabazali, bekungeke kube khona intuthuko futhi abantu bebezozingela izilwane zasendle ezihlala emhumeni.