Izinto ezibalulekile kanye nezindlela zokukhulisa izingane, njengezinye izinto eziningi, zivame ukushintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, abazali bethu bakhuliswa ngomoya wokuhlangana, bafundisa ukuthi kubi ukuma bese bebonisa isithunzi sabo. Iningi eliphelele lifuna ukuba yingxenye yocingo jikelele, "isakhamuzi esijwayelekile." Ngokufanayo nezinguquko zenhlalo nezombangazwe empilweni yabantu, ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kwezimfanelo zabantu kuye kwasiza abantu ukuba baphumelele esixukwini futhi baphumelele ngokwabo, hhayi ekugcineni, endaweni yokuphila. Ngakho-ke, abazali abaningi, befisa ukuba izingane zabo zibe ngcono, baqala ukucabanga ngendlela yokukhulisa umholi wengane, ukuze bamsize afeze imigomo.
Yiqiniso, umholi wengane wakhiwa yilokho kusukela ekuzalweni. Le nqubo ende, eyinkimbinkimbi enobuciko eyasiza ingane ukuba ithole umugqa phakathi kwezidingo zakhe kanye nezidingo zomphakathi, ukuzethemba okukhulu kanye nesimo sangempela sezindaba, inhloso, ukuzithemba nokugxeka okwanele.
Incazelo yenkokheli
Ngaphambi kokuba uphendule impendulo yombuzo wokuthi ungathuthukisa kanjani izimfanelo zobuholi bomntwana, kufanele unqume umqondo wobuholi. Umholi akuyena ogijima phambili, ephikisana nabaphikisana nezimbambo zakhe. Lokhu, okokuqala, indoda ehlonipha abanye, ingesabi imithwalo yemfanelo ekwazi ukuthatha abanye, ukwenza ukuba bafune ukuthatha isinyathelo, abangakwazi ukuwina kuphela, kodwa futhi balahlekelwa udumo, bafake iziphetho.
Abaholi baba, futhi abazalwanga, ngokunembile, izingane zizalwa, ezinye izikhombandlela zokuziphatha, futhi kusukela ekukhuliseni nasezindabeni zomphakathi kuncike ekutheni uzothola lokhu kuthuthukiswa, okungukuthi, ngabe umntwana uzoba umholi noma cha. Ngokusho kososayensi abaningi, ithalenta kanye nekhono kuphela 40% kuxhomeke ezakhiweni kanye 60% yemfundo. Njengoba wazi, indlela engcono kakhulu yemfundo yisibonelo sakho. Akungabazeki ukuthi abazali abasemafwini futhi abenzi lutho olukhonkolo lokuthuthukisa izimpilo zabo, bayakwazi ukukhulisa umholi. Kodwa akudingeki babe ngabaholi ngokwabo, kwanele ukuba babe nezimfanelo ezinjengekhono lokuphendula ngezinyathelo zabo, ukuhlonipha abanye kanye nokukwazi ukucabanga ngemibono yabo, isifiso sokuthola indlela yokuphuma kunoma yisiphi isimo.
Ukuhlela
Ehlose ukuveza izimfanelo zobuholi kumntanakho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi izingane-abaholi bakhulela emindenini lapho isimo esifudumele sothando, ukuqonda kanye nokusekela okubambisana kubusa. Qaphela ngamazwi, ngoba noma yiliphi ibinzana elishiwo ngokudlula lingafakwa engqondweni yengane ngokuphila futhi ibe uhlobo lwezinhlelo.
Gwema izinkulumo ezilandelayo:
- "Isiyaluyalu, isiyaluyalu, isiyaluyalu, isilwane"
- "Rag, mash, crybaby";
- "Ngikhathele kanjani wena, hamba, ungangikhathazi";
- "Akukho okuhle okuzofika kuwe";
- "Njengoba unamahloni, ungenangqondo" futhi uqhubeka nomoya ofanayo.
Imisho efakazela ekuthuthukiseni ubuholi:
- "Uzophumelela, ngiyakholwa kuwe";
- "Uhle kakhulu kuwo, ngithanda lokho okwenzayo";
- "Ngiyakuthanda futhi ngizokuthanda, naphezu kwempumelelo yakho nokuhluleka";
- "Ungahlala uncike ekuqondeni nasekusizeni kwami" njalonjalo.
Indlela yokukhulisa ingane njengomholi?
Ezinye izincomo ezisebenzayo:
- ukugxilisa imikhuba yendlela efanele yokuphila kumntwana; umholi ophilile angaba ngumholi ogcwele;
- Inkulumo enhle, inembile iyisihluthulelo sempumelelo kanye nendlela yokuheha abantu eceleni kwabo. Fundisa ingane yakho inkulumo enhle;
- ingane akudingeki ukuba ibe umfundi omuhle kakhulu kuzo zonke izifundo. Kubalulekile ukhethe indawo enentshisekelo futhi uphumelele empilweni yakho yokuzilibazisa;
- Fundisa ingane yakho ukuba ibeke imigomo futhi ifinyelele kuzo. Gcina noma yikuphi ukuzamazama, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangenathemba yini futhi bayichazele ingane ukuthi bahlele kanjani ukuqaliswa kwazo;
- umholi kumele akwazi ukuwina kuphela, kodwa futhi alahlekelwe. Ungamangaleli ingane ngokuhluleka, ubafundise kangcono ukuwaphatha njengesifundo esibalulekile sokuphila.