Bambalwa abesifazane abathanda ukwabelana ngamadoda abo nomunye, ngisho noma lo omunye engumkakhe ovumelekile. Naphezu kwalokhu, ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi owesifazane, eqala ubuhlobo nendoda eshadile, uvame ukuthanda naye. Kulokhu, ufuna ukuhlala endaweni eyinhloko empilweni yakhe, kuzo zonke izizathu abantu abajwayele ukuzihlanganisa nabo bahlukumeze kuphela umusho: "Yebo, ngihlangana nomuntu oshadile " futhi uyaqhubeka efuna ukunakekelwa. Kodwa njengoba umkhuba ubonisa ukuthi indoda eshadile ayikwazi neze ukushiya umndeni wayo, ihlukanise nomkayo, nje ukuba nenkosikazi wayo.
Ungamyeka kanjani umthandi oshadile?
Uma umthandi wakho engumuntu oshadile, ukuthanda naye kuphela ekuqaleni kungabonakala njengenganekwane. Yebo, ebuhlotsheni bakho kukhona ukuthanda, ububele kanye nezinye izikhathi eziningi ezingekho emndenini. Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi kuye, ngokuphambene nawo wonke amazwi akhe, umkami nomndeni bayohlala bekhona kuqala, futhi wena empilweni yakhe ukhona njengokungcebeleka okumnandi.
Ungakhohlwa kanjani umthandi oshadile?
Uma uzimisele ukuphula noma yikuphi ubudlelwane, kodwa ungazi ukuthi ungasuka kanjani kumuntu , khona-ke kufanele wenze umsebenzi omncane kuwe.
- Qonda ukuthi ube yisisulu senanveli enomuntu ogcotshweyo kakade. Kukhona uhlobo olunjalo lwabesifazane abazwa isidingo esikhulu sokuthandwa. Futhi yizona izisulu, noma kunalokho izinduna zamadoda ashadile. Kungenxa yezimo zakho eziyinkimbinkimbi mayelana nokuthi akukho muntu ngaphandle kwakho ongamthandi naye, indoda izoqhubeka ikushayela isikhathi eside futhi izinike izithembiso ezingenalutho.
- Yandisa ukuzethemba kwakho. Ebudlelwaneni nomthandi oshadile, kuphela owesifazane onokuzethemba okuphansi angakwazi ukuhileleka, futhi isidingo sokuhlanganyela othandekayo nomunye wesifazane sithuthukise. Iya ekwamukelweni kumcwaningi wezengqondo, shiya embuthanweni wakho labo bantu abakukhuthazayo futhi bakusekele.
- Ungesabi ukubeka umbuzo ngokucacile. Wena, njengowesifazane, unelungelo lokujabula, ngakho-ke ungesabi ukubeka umbuzo wokuhlukanisa onqenqemeni. Uma umuntu ehlukanisa, uzoba nomndeni omusha, futhi uma enqaba, uzokwazi mayelana nokufisa kwenhloso yakhe kuwe.
Manje mhlawumbe uyazi ukuthi ungasuka kanjani othandweni oshadile uma uqonda ukuthi zonke izithembiso zakhe akulutho kodwa amazwi angenalutho.
Kuze kube manje, inkulumo ethi owesifazane oshadile wesifazane oshadile akasimangazi muntu, ngoba ayikho imibhangqwana embalwa engayithandani ngokuthembeka komshado futhi ngokujwayelekile iyaphatha ukuhlukunyezwa. Bakholelwa ukuthi ubulili ohlangothini lungenye yezithuba zokuphumula, hhayi njengosongo empilweni yabo yomndeni.
Othandana osemusha oshadile wesifazane oshadile uyindlela yokuzibonakalisa ukukhangwa kocansi okuqiniswa yilokho okuhlangenwe nakho ekutholeni ubudlelwane bomshado.
Indlela yokugcina umthandi oshadile?
Uma ungowesibalo samakhosikazi naphezu kwakho konke okufunayo ukugcina indoda eshadile, khona-ke lokhu kunemali eminingi eqinisekisiwe yamakhulu eminyaka.
- Ubulili. Amadoda ashintsha ukuze ahlukanise impilo yabo yesondo eshadile, ngakho-ke ubulili obunothando buzokwenza ukuthi abuyele kuwe njalo.
- Ukuzijabulisa. Ngesikhathi uhlanganyela nomuntu izithakazelo zakhe kanye nokuthakazelisa uzoba yingxenye yezwe lakhe.
- Ukuzihlola. Amadoda awadalwa izidalwa ezisengozini, ngakho-ke lo mthandi usebenza njenge-balm ngenxa yomphefumulo emva kokuxabana nomfazi.
I-Psychology yomthandi oshadile
Izazi zengqondo zithi indoda efuna ukuthandana ohlangothini izwa ingalondekile futhi ihlupheka ngenxa yokungazinzi kwayo, idinga ukwesekwa kokuziphatha nokugcwalisa imizwa emihle ayithola kumakhosikazi yakhe.
Ungenza kanjani umthandi oshadile nomhawu?
Ngesikhathi owesifazane eqala ukuzwa esongelwe ukuthi uzoshiywa, uzama ukuvusa umuzwa womhawu kumthandi wakhe oshadile. Ukuze wenze lokhu, ungasebenzisa indlela enhle, eqinisekisiwe bese uyeka ukubiza umuntu. Futhi, ngokushesha ubona ukungabi nalokho okwakunakekelwa ngaphambili futhi ngokusho komuntu wesilisa uzoqala ukuba nomhawu.