Isintu sisanda kufika eminyakeni yesithathu yeminyaka. Kodwa kuwo wonke umlando wayo nezinyathelo zokuthuthukiswa, akukho sihloko esiye saxoxwa ngaso sonke isikhathi njengokuthi ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane. Uthando lwadunyiswa ezinkondlweni nasezingoma, laphefumulela abantu ukwakha ubuciko kanye nezenzo ezinesibindi. Kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi wayeyimbangela yokuhlupheka nokudabuka. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwabashadile kuyisihloko esingasoze salahlekelwa ukubaluleka kwayo futhi sizoxoxwa kuze kube phakade. Masiphinde sithinte lokhu kuphakade, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo sizame ukuqonda ukuthi singenza kanjani inyunyana yabantu ababili bavumelane futhi baqonde.
Psychology of ubudlelwano phakathi komyeni nomfazi
Njengoba umkhuba wabaningi be-psychologist ubonisa, naphezu kokuzimela komuntu ngamunye, izinkinga eziphathelene nobuhlobo bomshado nomunye nomunye ziphindaphindiwe kusukela esizukulwaneni kuya esizukulwaneni. Konke kuqala ukuthi iqiniso lokuthi umlingani ngamunye uyingxenye emele futhi eyakhelwe ngemibono yakhe empilweni, amasiko omndeni wakhe nemikhuba yakhe. Ukuhlangana okubushelelekile nokuphelele kwabantu ababili abahlukene akukwazi ukubeka phambili. Kodwa-ke, ingqondo yezobudlelwane phakathi kwabashadikazi iveza umsebenzi emaphutheni, ukufuna ukuyekethisa, ukuhlonipha nokwethembelana komunye nomunye, okuvama ngenxa yobugovu nokungazi lutho, imibhangqwana eminingi ikhohlwa. Ngenxa yalokho, kuvela izinkinga ukuthi izazi zengqondo zibiza ngokujwayelekile emindenini eminingi emincane:
- ukungabi nokuqonda;
- ukungalingani kwabalingiswa, imikhuba nezenzo;
- ukungavumelani kulezi zindaba ezidinga umbono ovamile.
Ubuhlobo bomuntu bomshado bomshado bavame ukuwela umngcele wenkambinkimbi futhi kuleli qiniso alincane kakhulu. Iphutha eliyinhloko lamabhangqwana amaningi livumela abazali babo, ezinye izihlobo nabajwayele ukuphazamiseka empilweni yabo. Akekho okwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zalabo abashade ngaphandle kwabo. Ngaphandle mhlawumbe umqondo wengqondo womndeni. Kodwa-ke, izazi ziphawula ukuthi labo mbhangqwana abaza ukuxazulula izinkinga ezithile ngokuvamile abaqapheli ukuthi yiziphi lezi zinkinga, noma baqaphele ukubaluleka kwabo futhi bakholelwa ukuthi bangaxazululwa. Kodwa-ke, uma uqonda, ngisho nasesitokisini somuntu siqu nesingqayizivele somndeni owodwa, ungahlakulela ukuvumelana futhi ugweme ukuhlakazeka.
Yini okufanele ibe ubuhlobo bomuntu phakathi kwalabo abashadile?
Kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano, kufanele kube nenhle. Uhlobo lokubusa noma isethi yemithetho, ophila ngayo ongayigwema kakhulu ukungavumelani. Kodwa-ke, lokhu ekahle akuyona ndlela ehlobene nezinto okulindelwe ngazo ukuthi abashadile badonse emakhanda abo. Esinye iphutha elikhulu kunoma yikuphi umbhangqwana ukungabi nokuqonda ukuthi lo mlingani akafani ngendlela ebonakala ngayo engqondweni. Ngakho-ke, ake sibonise imiyalo ebalulekile engasiza ekugwemeni izingxabano noma ngisho nokuhlukanisa:
- Isimo sengqondo somyeni kumfazi okhulelwe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abesifazane badonsa kangakanani ngamadoda, kodwa akekho omele ubulili obunamandla obungaqonda ukuthi ukukhulelwa okunjalo. Kule ndaba, ungasebenzisi isikhundla sakho futhi usho ukuthi ushintsho lwe-hormonal lusetshenziswa. Indoda ingabuye iqondwe, futhi kungcono ukugwema ukuxhashazwa okusobala phezu kwakhe. Ngokuphathelene nobaba ozayo, akufanele abe namahloni ngomkakhe okhulelwe, amnike inani eliphezulu lokunakekelwa nokukhathalela futhi azame ukuhlanganyela naye ngengozi enkulu. Ngokuqondene nokuzalwa kwengane, khona-ke kuleli cala akukho okunye - indoda ngokuqinisekile inikeza isikhathi esiningi sokusebenza. Kodwa-ke, ungakhohlwa ukuthi ekhaya oshade naye akenzi lutho, futhi uzodinga njalo usizo, ukusekela nokuqonda okufanayo. Amama omama bayalwa ukuba bangakhohlwa iqiniso lokuthi ngaphandle kwengane kukhona nendoda edinga ukusekelwa, ukuzwelana nokukhathalela.
- Umyeni nomfazi - ubudlelwano bobulili. Le nkinga idala njengezwe. Ezihlukahlukene ezithandanayo yizinhlayiya zokuphila komndeni, okungezona wonke umuntu ongaziqhayisa. Futhi uma omunye womshado esinezinkinga eziye zaba yizizathu zokuntuleka kocansi, kungcono ukungabifihli, kodwa ukuxoxa ngazo. Noma kunjalo iqiniso liyiqiniso, kufanelekile ukumtshela umlingani wakhe, aze afike nezinye izizathu zokwenqaba ukushada. Uma kungenjalo, yilowo nalowo wombili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili, uzothola isisombululo senkinga ngaphandle kwemindeni yomndeni.
- Ubuhlobo bomhlaba phakathi kwabashade . Imibhangqwana eminingi ikhumbula lo mbuzo kuphela ngesikhathi sehlukaniso. Nakuba namuhla kunomkhuba okhulayo wezivumelwano zomshado. Le mibhalo ifaka izimo zokuhlukanisa impahla ehlanganisiwe, izingane ezivamile, njll. Ukuthi ngombuzo onjalo kwakungekho izinkinga, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unamandla kangakanani abantu ababili ngesikhathi somshado, kungcono ukuphetha isivumelwano.
- Ubudlelwano phakathi kwabangaphambili bomshado. Le nkinga inama-nuances amaningi futhi idinga ingxoxo ehlukile.
Kodwa-ke, kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi uma umbhangqwana ohlukanisile wabelane ngezingane, akufanele uhlangothi luvimbele ukuxhumana kwabo nomunye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo bomuntu owayekade bushade bububi kangakanani, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi abantwana abanecala noma yini futhi bafana nabazali bobabili.
Ubuhlobo phakathi komyeni nomfazi bungakhula ngezindlela ezahlukene. Kodwa ngamunye womshado kufanele akhumbule amaqiniso, azohlale eguqukile futhi azosiza ukulondoloza umshado. Zihlanganisa ukwesekwa, inhlonipho, ikhono lokulalela nokuzimisela ukusiza ezikhathini ezinzima. Uma okungenani isigamu semibhangqwana yanamuhla sikhohlwe ngenzuzo yabo kanye nobugovu, khona-ke inani lehlukaniso lizokwehla.