Okuthakazelisayo, ubandlululo ngesimo esingaphansi komuntu wesifazane sekuphelile, kepha kuze kube manje amantombazane angafinyeleleki eminyakeni ethile engashada (abangenayo ubuhlobo obuseduze noma obude nendoda) abhekwa njengabesifazane abancane. Futhi lesi sidlaliso asihlonishwa, abantu abakuboni lokhu njengobumsulwa nobuqotho, kodwa njengentombazane engalungile nokungahloniphi impilo yakhe yomndeni. Ingabe kunesabekayo ngempela ukuba ngumsikazi omdala?
Bobani abantombazane abadala?
Ngaphambilini, intombazane engashadile (futhi ngenxa yalokho yalondoloza ubuntombi bakhe bokuphila) kuze kube yilapho ineminyaka engu-25 ibhekwa njengendodakazikazi endala. Wayehawukelwa yibo bonke abesifazane abashadile, ngoba ukuthatha umfazi onjalo kungaba ngumfelokazi kuphela, ngakho-ke le ntombazane kwakufanele idlule iminyaka yakhe njengengxenye ye-prizhivalka. Namuhla, intombazane endala ibizwa ngokuthi labo abangenaso isikhathi sokushada futhi babe nabantwana abaneminyaka engama-30-35. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi manje intombazane endala ingabizwa yilabo ababengabalingani abaningi bezocansi, okungukuthi, ohlangothini lwezobuciko kulokhu alukhathazeki kakhulu emphakathini. Kodwa abesifazane abangashadile basalokhu balahlwa futhi babhalwa ngesidlaliso esicasulayo. Ngoba amantombazane futhi acabanga, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhlala kanjani nendodakazikazi endala, bese uzama ukuhudula abafana babo ehhovisi lokubhalisa. Kukhona ngisho nabantu abanjalo abazoba nganoma iyiphi intengo kuze kube ngu-30 iminyaka eshadile. Vumela ubuhlobo buhambe kahle, futhi kuzodingeka siphile isahlukaniso eminyakeni embalwa (noma ngisho nezinyanga), kodwa indandatho emunwe yaqinisekiswa. Kuhle ukuthi kunezisulu ezimbalwa ezifana nezisulu zombono womphakathi, ngoba intombazane endala ingaba nokuphila komzimba ocansini, futhi iseshadile, futhi ibelethe izingane ezimbalwa. Konke mayelana ne-psychology yomsikazi omdala, kuyinto yokuxilongwa, isifo okudingeka ulwa uma isifiso sokwakha umndeni ojabulisayo asizange sinyamalale noma kuphi.
I-Psychology yamantombazane amadala
Ubudala, lapho intombazane engashadile ibhekwa njengendodakazi endala, kunzima ukuyibiza, ngoba akuyona into echazayo. Akekho umuntu ozokwenza lolu limi libize owesifazane ohlotshiswe kahle, onomusa wesigqilakazi esingama-40-45 ubudala. Futhi akuyona ngisho nasezifundweni zomzimba - amantombazane amaningi, ekupheleni kwesikhathi esahlukana nokungabi nabulungile, angabangeli ngokuphelele ubudlelwane nomfanekiso wendodakazikazi endala. Konke mayelana nomlingisi, indlela yokuphila yowesifazane onjalo, kukhona ngisho ne-so-called okuthiwa isifo somsikazi omdala. Kuboniswa ngesimo sengqondo esikhethekile kwabanye, ngendlela yokuxhumana. Abesifazanekazi abanjalo ngokuvamile badumaza kakhulu, bahlekisa ngakho konke abakwaziyo, ikakhulukazi amadoda. Bayathanda ukubikezela ukuphela kokungajabuli kubangane babo nakwabajwayele futhi begcoba lapho izibikezelo zabo zigcwaliseka. Amantombazane amadala anesithakazelo esikhulu kwisici socansi. Kunezinketho ezimbili ongakhetha kuzo: noma ngabe owesifazane ukhuluma njalo ngesimo sokuziphatha okubi, ukhuluma ngezikrini, i-intanethi kanye nabomagazini bezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, noma uziphatha njenge-sex guru, ezama ukunikeza izakwabo abashadile iseluleko kulokhu, ukudweba ulwazi oluvela ezincwadini zabesifazane.
Yeka ukuthi ungahlali kanjani umsikazi omdala?
Uma uvezwe ngokweqile embonweni womphakathi futhi ngobuqotho
Uma ungazicabangeli ukuthi ungenasici ngenxa yokuntuleka komlingani ohlala njalo, awudingi. Yiqiniso, zihlole ngezikhathi ezithile izibonakaliso zesigqilakazi esidala, ukuze uzishise ngensimbi eshisayo. Awufuni ukuphenduka ibe yiqembu elihlosiwe? Ngakho ungakhohlwa ukulandela ukubukeka kwakho, indlela yokuxhumana nabanye. Futhi ungesabi ukudlala ngothando nobulili obuhlukile - lo mdlalo ngeke kukulimaze, ngisho noma ungaqhubeki ube yinveli.