Noma yikuphi umuntu oqondileyo oqonda ukuthi ngaphandle kokuxabana, ukungavumelani nokuhlambalaza, akukho mshado owodwa ongakwazi ukuwenza. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi ukuphazanyiswa okuncane kancane kancane kwehlisa inhlalakahle yomndeni futhi kuqhubeke kuze kube yilapho omunye womshado eba nesithukuthezi futhi engafaki ukuhlukana. Ngakho-ke ungenzani ukubhekana nomphumela onjalo, ukugcina uthando emshadweni?
Ingabe kufanelekile ukugcina umshado?
Uma ubudlelwane emshadweni engasenakuletha injabulo, umbuzo wendlela yokulondoloza umshado usekelwe kahle. Ngempela, into ethile yakugcina isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, akunakwenzeka ukuthi yonke imizwa yanyamalala. Kodwa-ke ngaphambi kokuba uqale umsebenzi wokugubha ukuphazamiseka empilweni yakho yomndeni, kufanele uzibuze umbuzo, kodwa udinga ukulondoloza umshado? Ngoba kukhona izinto ezenza kube nzima ukuhlala nomyeni. Zonke lezi zikhathi zihlukile: umuntu akakwazi ukuthethelela ukukhwabanisa, umuntu akakwazi ukuhlala nendoda engakwazi ukuhlinzeka ngesimo sezimali esidingekayo, futhi omunye umuntu akadingi umyeni, alahleke njalo emsebenzini, okuyinto izingane ezihlala zihlala esithombeni bheka kunasekhaya. Zibonele ukuthi uzokwazi yini ukuvumelanisa nezici zobuntu bomlingani noma usuvele ufika ebhodini okungaphezu kwalokho okungekho ukuyekethisa okuzosiza.
Ngokuvamile abesifazane bathi bahlala nabayeni babo ngenxa yezingane. Ngakho-ke akudingeki - ingane, ngempela, ubaba uyadingeka, kodwa abazali abahlukunyezwayo, ukubandisa, ukungabi nenhlonipho emndenini nezinye izici ezimbi ngeke zenze. Cabanga ukuthi kuzokhula kanjani uma ingane kusukela ebusweni igoqela kuphela okubi. Ungabhekisela eqinisweni lokuthi ingane ayifuni, futhi uhlale nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa nalokhu akuyona impikiswano - kunezihlobo ezizosiza, futhi wena ngokwakho awunamandla. Ukuhlukumezeka wena nomntwana ngemali (hhayi okwamanje ukuthi umyeni wakhe uzoletha ekhaya, hhayi kwendlovukazi yakhe) - akuyona into enhle.
Ungasindisa kanjani umshado emva kokukhashelwa komyeni wakhe?
Kwabesifazane abathile, ukungathembeki komngane womshado akuvumelekile, futhi uma bethola ngemikhankaso "yamanxele" yomyeni, isicelo sehlukaniso sithunyelwa ngaphandle kokulibala. Futhi abanye besifazane bacabanga ukuthi bangasindisa kanjani umshado emva kokuhlubuka, ngoba bathanda umyeni wakhe futhi balungele ukumthethelela konke. Kodwa ukulondolozwa kobudlelwano ngemuva kokungahambi kahle okunjalo kuphezu kwamahlombe womshado wombili.
- Noma yikuphi ukuxhumana nenkosikazi kumele kume. Amanye amadoda anezinyembezi emehlweni abo athi omunye, manje umngane wabo omkhulu. Lapha ungakwazi kuphela ukuphendula into eyodwa - kwadingeka ucabange ngaphambili, lapho umngane ehudulwa ebhukwaneni.
- Kunzima ukulalela ukukhohlisa, kodwa kuyadingeka. Kungcono kuwe, uma uqonda ukuthi kungani indoda ilandele omunye owesifazane. Ukukhuluma kwakhe ngokugcwele kuzokusiza ukuba wenze "ukusebenza emaphutheni".
- Yebo, ukungathembeki komyeni akuyona nje umphumela wesithembu sakhe (abanqobi bangempela abavami ukushada), yiziphambeko zakho futhi. Lokhu uyeke ukuthakazelisa kuye, "zapilili", eboshwe ngokunakekelwa.
- Ngaphandle kokuxolelwa kokulondoloza umshado, angeke kube nombuzo. Uma ungakwazi ukukhohlwa icala lomyeni wakho, khona-ke awukwazi ukuba ndawonye.
Indlela yokugcina uthando emshadweni?
- I-Euphoria honeymoon ngeke ibe nesikhathi sokuphuma, njengoba uzoba nezicelo kanye nezikhathi zokuxabana. Into esemqoka hhayi ukuwavumela ukuba abhubhise umshado wakho - ngezinye izinto imibono yabashadile ingase ihluke, kuvamile, abantu abanokubukwa kwezwe okufanayo abakho nje. Uma unemibono ephikisanayo esikhathini esiyinhloko sokuphila, khona-ke umshado awunakwenzeka ukuba ujabule.
- Umfazi kufanele aqale kahle futhi asebenzise isikhathi, kodwa noma ubani udinga isidleke esilula. Futhi uma, ngemuva kokubuya ekhaya evela emsebenzini kusihlwa, umyeni uzohlangana nomkakhe okhishwe ngamanxeba kanye nama-noodle asheshayo, ngakho-ke ukubonakala kwakhe okumangalisayo kuyomisa ukujabulisa.
- Iya kwesinye isikhathi - umgcini ongcwele wezindlu zomndeni akakwazi. Uma ungaboni lutho ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ekhaya, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuqonda umyeni wakho osebenzayo kuyoba nzima nakakhulu. Izinkinga zomsebenzi wakhe ngeke zikukhathaze, kodwa wonke umuntu
Ukufika kwesikhathi sokufika komyeni ekhaya ngeke kubonakale kuwe ngenxa yomsebenzi emsebenzini, kodwa njengokungathembeki komlingani wakho. Uzoba yi-hen-hen, othanda ngothando lwakhe nokunakekelwa kwakhe ngokweqile, ngeke amvumele ukuba enze isinyathelo esisodwa esizimele. Akekho ongakwazi ukubekezelela isimo sengqondo esinjalo. - Emshadweni, akekho okhokhelwa noma ubani. Uhlala ndawonye ngoba ungcono kunokuba wedwa. Ulungiselela isidlo somyeni wakho, ubelethe izingane zakhe, ngakho-ke uyazikhuphula ngoba uzifuna wena. Ngakho-ke uzikhandla emsebenzini, uzama ukunikeza umndeni hhayi ngenxa yemfanelo engcwele, kodwa ngoba uyayifuna.