Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyazimela futhi siyizinkolelo esingathandeki ukubonakala, nokho kithi ngamunye uhlala nentombazane engama-naive ephupha ngomuntu onamahlombe akhe aqinile angase asekelwe nangothando oluthandekayo noluthando lokuphila. Ngakho-ke umbuzo wokuthi ungayithandana kanjani nomuntu ngaphakathi kuye, mhlawumbe ungalokothi ulahlekelwe ukuhambisana kwawo.
Amathiphu wokuthi ungathandana kanjani nomunye umuntu emhlanganweni wokuqala
Kusobala ukuthi kuyoba nzima kakhulu ukuthandana nomuntu futhi, njengoba usuvele ukwazi ukudumaza ngento ethile. Ukuze singenzi imizamo engadingekile, siqhubeka kahle kusukela ekuqaleni. Ngakho uthanda kanjani umuntu ngenkathi usesekude?
- Indoda ngeke ibe nesithakazelo kowesifazane obukeka sengathi unesihlungu esikhulu. Uma ujwayele ukuhamba ugijimela phezulu, ngekhanda lakho phansi futhi iso eliphelile, khona-ke akukho mbuzo wukukhohlisa okude. Ngakho-ke, sidubula ngamehlo ethu, sihamba neminyango yethu, amakhanda ethu aphakanyisiwe, futhi ethuthuka izintambo zethu kancane, ehlezi kabusha imilenze yethu ngokuhle, efakwe ezithende.
- Uma ukhuluma, kufanele uqaphele wonke umuntu, ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka yinoma yini enye. Izwi elijulile eliphuma "kusukela emcimbini," liphazamisa izindlebe zesilisa, ngakho-ke ungakhulumi futhi ukhulume ngokuhlabayo. Futhi umsizi omuhle endabeni yokudukisa, kumomotheka. Bomama ngobuqotho futhi ngokuzethemba, wazi ukuthi lokho kukuhle, ngisho noma ezwa.
- Ukuthinta futhi kudlala indima ebalulekile ekuhlanganiseni kwabantu ababili. Siqala ngethu, silungisa indandatho indlebe endlebeni, thinta intamo yethu kancane. Phakathi nengxoxo, njengokungathi ngithinta ngengozi isandla sakhe, umtshele ukuthi uyathandeka kuso.
Futhi kanjani ukuwela othandweni nomuntu futhi ugcine naye?
Bheka, umhlangano wokuqala uphumelele, uyathandeka, yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo? Ungayithandi kanjani nje kuphela uthando, kodwa futhi ugcine umuntu, yiziphi izindlela?
- Amadoda abazingeli ngokwemvelo, ngakho-ke ungasho masinyane ukuthi "othandekayo, mina ngingowakho" nokuthi "nginenhlanhla kangakanani ukuthi uhlangane nami." Isikhathi sokuvuma okunjalo sizofika kamuva, kuyilapho udinga ukukhombisa le ndoda ukuthi ayenaye kuphela ohlwini lwakho lwabaqokelwe. Yebo, kwaba nenhlanhla kuye ukuthi ngethuba lucky, ukhetho lwakho lwaluhlelwe kuye. Kuvulekile ukusho kanjalo-ke, akudingekile, kodwa ukukhuluma ngokujwayelekile ukuthi umenywe ngumsebenzi omuhle ukuba udle, ungakwazi. Into esemqoka akusiyo i-overdo it, umgomo wethu ukufudumala isithakazelo somuntu, futhi ungambonisi emnyango.
- Abesifazane banamuhla bavame ukubiza leli gama: "Ukuba buthakathaka kuyisimo esingenakuvunyelwa kimi." Makube njalo, kodwa ngendoda enentshisekelo, kufanele kuqala kuqala ube ngowesifazane obuthakathaka nowomnene, lowo afuna ukuwuvikela.
- Kodwa nokho, wonke umuntu ufuna ukuba ngumphathi waleso simo. Masibe nethuba, makabe nomuzwa wokuthi umbono wakhe uyabaluleka lapha.
Izimpawu eziyisithupha zomuntu othandweni
With izimfihlo, kanjani ukuwela othandweni nendoda, futhi lokho unikeza indoda othandweni? Izimpawu zendoda ethandweni zikhona eziningi, kodwa nansi ezitholakala kakhulu.
- Ukukhangwa ngokocansi. Yebo, ubulili ngaphandle kwothando kusuka kumlingani kungenzeka, futhi uthando ngaphandle kocansi alukho. Indoda ethandwayo izohlala ifuna umuntu akhethiweyo.
- Kudinga ukuxhumana nawe. Indoda ethandwayo ayibheki nje kuphela ngokomzimba, kodwa futhi ubuhlobo obungokomoya nowesifazane obathandekayo kuye.
Ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nawe ngangokunokwenzeka, futhi uma engakwazi ukwenza lokhu ubheka izindlela zokuxhumana kude (ifoni, ICQ, Skype, njll). - Indoda ikuvumela empilweni yakhe. Abafundi, abajwayele ukuhlala, ukuthi bangabathanda kanjani, ababekezelele kalula ukuba khona empilweni yabo komunye umuntu. Ngakho-ke, uma uke wamukelwa esikhaleni sakhe, khona-ke kukhona ithuba lokuthi ukhona kakhulu, umthakazelisa kakhulu kuye.
- Ivumelanisa nezidingo zakho. Ulungele ukuguqula izinhlelo zakhe kuwe, eqinisweni, akakhulumi ngento ethile emhlabeni jikelele, kodwa uyokujabulela ukukunikela ngezicathulo.
- Uzama ukukunakekela. Ukuqagela isimo sengqondo esidabukisayo bese uzama ukujabula nokukhathazeka, uma ihluleka.
- Indoda ethandwayo ayikwazi ngisho nokucabanga ngokulimaza okhethiweyo wakhe. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, sonke sithuthukisa izinto, futhi ukucasuka okungazibandakanyi akubali. Kodwa umuntfu othandweni angakulimaza ngamabomu ngothando.