Njengengoma ingoma: "Ngokwezibalo, kunezingane ezingu-9 zamantombazane angu-10". Ngakho abesifazane abasha, amahle nabakhululekile baphoqeleka ukuba baneliswe ngamadoda ashadile, bangabi yedwa futhi banomuzwa wokuthi udinga umuntu. Kwenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwane obunjalo buhlala iminyaka eminingi, futhi ukuze kuphuthumise ukuhamba emndenini, okwenyanyiswa nguye, umuntu kufanele acabange ukuthi angathatha kanjani indoda eshadile emndenini kusukela ekubukeni kwengqondo.
Ukulinganisa zonke izinzuzo nezindleko
Okokuqala, inkosikazi idinga ukunquma ukuthi idinga umngane empilweni nokuthi ingathatha yini indoda eshadile emndenini, ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi impilo kanye naye ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa ngeke ibe njengalutho njengoba libonakala. Ufezekisa yini umgomo wakhe? Uma amandla amakhulu okushayela akuyona uthando lwangempela , ke ochwepheshe kanye nezinduna ezenziwe ngezikhathi zeluleke futhi aziqali noma yisiphi isenzo. Ngisho noma indoda ishiya umndeni wayo, ubuhlobo obusha cishe ngeke buhlale isikhathi eside. Uma uqinisekile ukuthi uyisiqephu sakho sesibili, kufanele uqale uqonde ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthatha indoda eshadile ngaphandle komndeni, ngoba iningi labo linelisekile ngalesi simo lapho amakhaya ethula, induduzo, umfazi nezingane, futhi ohlangothini lobusha kanye nesifiso.
Lokhu kungenzeka kuphela esimweni sokuthi impilo enomfazi ongenelisekile unomphefumulo omkhulu kangangokuthi ayikho amandla okukhuthazela. Uma indoda ngisho nangaphambi kokuba umhlangano nenkosikazi yakhe icabange ukuthi kuyoba kuhle ukugcina ubalekele, ngoba izingane zikhulile, zingakwazi kakade zikhulume ngendlela endala futhi zichaze konke. Yebo, uma inkosikazi ibuyele kule ndoda ngendlela efanele, ngakho-ke, konke kungenzeka.
Ngingathatha kanjani indoda eshadile ngaphandle komndeni?
Okokuqala, kuzodingeka ukuthi uthuthukise wonke amakhono okuhlola okuhle: yiba nesineke, ukwazi ukulinda futhi uhlukanise "okusanhlamvu kumakhoba". Lawula ukuziphatha kwakho nemizwelo yakho, unalo ikhono lokuthola ulwazi olufanele futhi, yiqiniso, ulalele. Futhi ulalele okuningi: indlela yokuthola i-mega-inkosikazi, ukuthi ingenwe kanjani futhi ingenayo, i-bitch eyomile, njll. Umsebenzi wenkosikazi ukuzisola, ukukhathazeka, nokufakazela ukuthi konke kuzohluka kuye. Kubalulekile ukunikeza indoda inganekwane, lapho angathanda ukubuyela khona futhi. Kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu, kumele athembele umngane wakhe omusha.
Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungathatha kanjani indoda eshadile, ungalokothi ukhulume ngemali. Akekho omele ubulili obunamandla angeke ashintshane umndeni owesifazane oneminyaka engu-21 ubudala, ngakho-ke udinga ukumtshela ukuthi imali ayiyona into esemqoka ekuphileni, futhi uthando luyakwazi ukwenza izimangaliso. Dumisani indoda yakho, mtshele ukuthi unethalente futhi engavamile yini futhi nabanye abantu abayiziphukuphuku ukuthi awukwazi ukukubona. Yinakekele, yondle ukudla okudliwayo okumnandi, izikhathi zokuphumula kanye nokudla, yenza ukukhathazeka. Yenza izinhlelo ngekusasa, kodwa ungasheshi ukukhuluma ngezingane. Kungenzeka ukuthi indoda ayifuni ukuba nayo okwamanje, ngoba impilo kanye nesimiso yiyona nto yokuqala ayigijima ngokuphindaphindiwe akahlosile ukungena kuyo.
Yiqiniso, kubalulekile ukuba abe inkosikazi enhle kunazo zonke emhlabeni. Ukusebenza nokuzama ukuhlola - kungukuthi ukuthunyelwa kwezokuxhumana okujabulisayo nokude futhi lokhu kuzomele kukhunjulwe. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ungagcini ngokuphelele kumuntu, hhayi ukuphila impilo yakhe. Uma umuntu eqiniseka ukuthi ulindele usuku lonke ewindini, akasoze ashiya umkakhe, kodwa ngani? Yiba ozimele futhi unesiqiniseko, uma ungeyena umsebenzi, okungenani ukuzilibazisa, sebenzisa isikhathi samahhala nabangani, uhlangane nabangani. Masiqiniseke ukuthi impilo yakho igcwele ngaphandle kwakhe bese efuna ukuba yingxenye yayo. Futhi ngaphandle kwalokho, yenza ngezimo, kodwa njalo ugcine ubuso bakho nenhlonipho kwabanye abantu.