Ubani obhekene ne-masochist akulula ukuyiqonda, kunzima kakhulu ukufunda indlela yokusindisa umuntu kusuka enkingeni enjalo enobuthi obukhona. Umuntu onjalo akaqapheli kakhulu ubuhlungu, ubanda, ukukhathala, nesifiso sabanye ukuze bamsize, uphendukela kubo.
Yini i-masochist?
I-masochist umuntu ojwayele ukuhlupheka nokuhlazeka. Uthola injabulo eyiphutha ebuhlungu nokuhlazeka. Lokhu akusiyo ubuhlungu obungokwenyama, kodwa ngengqondo. Abantu abaye baphathwa ubudlova ngabantu abadala, abanezidingo nezifiso zabo eziye zaphulwa kusukela ebuntwaneni, basengozini ye-masochism. Ngenxa yalokho, lapho bekhulile bayayeka ukuzithokozisa kanye nokuhlonipha.
Singazibona lezi zici ezilandelayo zohlobo lwe-masochist:
- akayinaki isimo sakhe;
- akakwazi ukuqeda ukukhathazeka eyedwa;
- usebenza kancane kancane, uzikhandla;
- ngaphandle kwe-masochist ethule futhi ezolile;
- uhamba ngokubukeka kokuhlupheka.
Emoyeni wakhe othukuthele uhlambalaza abanye, ujezisa ngenxa yokungalaleli kwabo nokungafuni ukuqonda "ngaphandle kwamazwi." Intukuthelo isebenza njengomngane wakhe ongunaphakade, obonakala kuwo wonke umuntu ozungezile. Ukuhlaziywa kwe-masochism kwengqondo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi abantu abanjalo akufanele baphambuke, badinga ukufundiswa ukuveza imizwa yabo, ukuqaphela futhi baqonde izidingo zabo, izifiso zabo.
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokudabuka kanye ne-masochism?
Ubudlova buyisifiso sobudlova ukuze ujabulele ukuhlupheka kwabanye. Ekuqaleni, lesi sici siboniswe kuphela kumkhakha wezocansi wobomi bomuntu, kodwa namuhla sekuye kwasakazeka kabanzi, kuthinta izindawo ezivamile zansuku zonke. Ngakho, isibonelo, ubudlova bungaba yingqondo, kanti i-sadist ijabulela, ibangela ukuhlukunyezwa kumuntu.
Ngokungafani nokudabuka, i-masochism ihlose ukubangela ubudlova, kodwa endaweni engazi lutho imiqondo enjalo ayinakuhlukaniswa. I-sadist ayitholi kuphela ukwaneliseka kubudlova bezinto, kodwa futhi kusukela kulokho okuba yilo nto. Ngokufanayo, i-masochist, ngokuhlupheka kwakhe, ifuna ukujezisa umhlukumezi, ibangele umuzwa wecala. I-sadist ne-masochist ingahlanganisa injabulo nokuhlupheka. Into kuphela ehlukanisa yona komunye nomunye:
- i-sadism ihloselwe into;
- I-masochism iqondiswa ngale ndaba.
Kunjengezinhlangothi ezimbili zemali efanayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, i-masochism iyakwazi ukuguqulwa ibe yinto ebuhlungu. Abantu abanjalo abazizwa benecala futhi isenzo ngasinye sinesizathu esihle. Ukuthambekela okudlulele ngokwengeziwe, ukuqina komuntu kuyodinga ukuzithokozisa ngezikhathi ezithile - i-masochism. Ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa kobudlova, i-masochist esalindile izokuzithoba futhi ithule, qala ukucela intethelelo ngezenzo zakhe.
Izinhlobo ze-masochism
Njengoba isibalo sokusuka kwe-masochism senzelwe ukuthola injabulo ekuhluphekeni, i-masochist idinga ukuba khona kwabanye ukuze lokhu kuhlupheka kubonakalise, ngakho-ke uyazama ukuveza ukuthobeka kwakhe ngangokunokwenzeka kwabanye. Ukubukeka kwamanye amazwe ebuhlotsheni nabanye abantu kubonakala ngokuhlazeka, icala, nobuhlungu. I-masochist izama ukunqoba ukuvunywa ngentshiseko, izama ukusondelana nabantu.
Psychological masochism
Njengoba inkolelo kaFreud ibonisa, ingqondo yengqondo isekelwe kusifo se-psyche . Kukhona izimbangela ezilandelayo zengqondo ze-masochism:
- izidingo ezingapheli;
- ukunakekelwa okungenakuphikiswa kwabazali, noma ukungabi khona kwakhe okuphelele;
- ukuhlukumeza okuphansi;
- isijeziso esinonya sabantwana;
- ukwesaba ukushiywa.
Lapho esekhulile, abakwa-masochists bafuna uhlobo lothando ababenqatshelwe njengengane. Kodwa ukuphazamiseka kwalesi simo kungukuthi kubo, uthando ngukuthi abazali baziphatha kanjani kubo. Ngakho-ke, i-masochist ingazi ukuthi inqatshelwe abantu abaseduze. I-masochist yengqondo ifuna ukuvusa umuzwa wecala, ilahla umlingani wayo ekuboniseni ukuthambekela okudabukisayo.
I-masochism yezocansi
Ama-masochists ocansi afuna ukujabulela ukuhlupheka ngokomzimba. Bathanda ukushaywa nokuxhashazwa. Izimbangela ze-masochism kwezocansi kwaba:
- ukugula okukhulu nokuzwa ubuhlungu obude;
- ubudlova bezocansi;
- ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo nabazali.
Uma umntwana ehlushwa isifo esibi kakhulu kusukela esemncane, ngokungazi lutho kwaholela ekutheni kuncike ekutheni kuncike kuye. Kamuva, kutholakala ebuhlotsheni bobulili . Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ubulili be-masochists - abugcini nje ngokubangela ubuhlungu obungokwenyama, kodwa futhi ukuhambisana nokuthanda komunye umuntu, umuzwa wokungabi namandla ngaphandle kokulawulwa kabuhlungu komlingani.
Ukuziphatha okuhle kwe-masochism
Isisekelo sokuziphatha masochism kungumqondo wecala, isidingo esingenalutho sokujeziswa. I-masochist yokuziphatha isesimweni sokucindezeleka esiqhubekayo, inxusa ukuhlupheka ngenxa yengozi, ukulahlekelwa ngokwezimali, ubudlelwane obubi. Izimbangela zokubonakala kwenkinga enjalo zivela kusukela ebuntwaneni ngoba:
- ukugcoba okubuhlungu kusuka esifubeni;
- ukujeziswa ngokushaya indlwabu;
- ukufundisa endlini yangasese;
- ukuhlukana kwangaphambili;
- ukucindezela, igunya labazali.
I-masochism engokomzwelo
I-masochist engokomzwelo ijabulela isimo sengqondo esibi, esibonakala ngokuziphatha okujwayelekile, ukuzimela, ukuzihawukela. Umuntu onjalo akafuni ukuxazulula inkinga yakhe, inqubo ibalulekile kuye. Futhi uma othile ezama ukumsiza, ngenxa yalokho, yena ngokwakhe angathukuthela futhi athukuthele. I-masochism engokomzwelo yabesifazane ibonakala:
- ngokuzigxeka njalo;
- ukuxhashazwa kakhulu utshwala nezidakamizwa;
- ekuphikisana njalo ngenxa yesizathu esithile.
I-masochism yengqondo
Ekunqumeni indawo yendoda emasikweni, ama-psychoanalysts aseMelika aqaphele inkinga enkulu efuna ukunakwa-mindchism yengqondo. Ngokwesibonelo, esimweni saseYurophu, i-eyeschism yesifazane ivame kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukuqonda umehluko womphakathi phakathi kobulili. UbuMasoki buvela ekudleni, futhi ukuqhubeka kwayo.
Lokhu akusilo ubuciko bezocansi. Lo mbono uguquliwe kuphela phakathi nekhulu leminyaka elidlule. Sekuyiminyaka eyizinkulungwane ngaphambili, kwakukhona ukuxhumana okucacile phakathi kokungokomoya nokubukeka kwe-masochism kwemiphakathi eminingi. Abadala babecabanga ukuthi i-masochism ibalulekile ngokomoya, ngokomzwelo nangokwenyama. Wayeyingxenye yokubophezela kweqiniso, inhlanganisela yomphefumulo esimweni sosizi, okwakuboniswa kaningi emadolobheni nasemasontweni.
Kungani abantu beba masochists?
Izimbangela ze-masochism azixhunyiwe ngokungahambisani ne-psychology. Ngokuvamile umqondo onjalo uthathwa njengomfanekiso wesibuko we-sadism. Nakuba kungekho muntu ongayibonisa uhlobo olubumbene lokubonakala kwenkinga enjalo. Izimbangela ezilandelayo ze-masochism ziyakwazi ukuphawula:
- Isizathu sezofuzo.
- Isizathu semvelo.
- Ukwesaba isizungu noma ukuhlaselwa.
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi ubani obhekene ne-masochist, kufanele ubheke izizathu zalokho okwenzekayo. Lona ngumphumela wompikiswano wangaphakathi womuntu. Uma ukuphambene okunjalo kungaphazamisi ukuthuthukiswa komuntu siqu, ngakho-ke kungabizwa ngokuthi kuvamile. Kodwa uma umuntu ezwa engajabuli, ehlale ecasuliwe futhi ezwa ubuhlungu kuye, efuna ukuzilimaza ngokwakhe, ukuthola injabulo enkulu kuyo, kubalulekile ukuba angashiyi kumuntu onjalo, kodwa ukuze amnike usizo lomqondo wengqondo.
Ungasiza kanjani i-masochist?
Umuntu obhekene ne-masochism akasoze avuma inkinga yakhe, ungalokothi ubuze ukuthi ubani onobuso be-masochist. Uyokwenza konke yena ngokwakhe, ngisho nalokho okungafunwa muntu. Ngamanye amazwi, ngeke ashiye ithuba elincane lokumsiza, kodwa uzobe ebonisa ukufutheka kwakhe ngenkuthalo. Umuntu onjalo njalo akajabuli ngento ethile, engajabuli. Yonke le ntukuthelo yangaphakathi ibhubhisa umuntu ngaphakathi.
Uma unquma ukusiza umngane wakho, lungiselela ukumelana okungenzeka futhi uthole ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani ne-masochist. Buyela kuye ukuqaphela impilo, injabulo, ukulinganisela kwangaphakathi kungaba, uma wamukela isimo sengqondo esenhlonipho nesihloniphekile, ngeke sithathwe ekusebenziseni kwakhe. Kumele ufunde ukuphawula nokuphazamisa zonke izinyathelo zesiguli ngesikhathi. Kumelwe usekele ku-masochist isifiso sokuphila okujabulisayo nokujabulisayo.
Ungaba kanjani i-masochist?
Ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungaba kanjani ama-masochist, udinga ukubheka izikhathi lapho umuntu esanda kuqala ukwakha. Uma abazali bomntwana bemkhombisa isijeziso esinzima, okuvame ukufika ekudakaleni, kulezi zimo umuntu udala indlela yokuzivikela. Futhi kancane kancane uqala ukucabanga ukuthi ukubonakaliswa kobuhlobo obunjalo babazali kuye akuyona into ngaphandle kothando. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ingane izama ukuthola ukuhlupheka nokuhlazeka okunjalo incazelo enhle.
Abazali, ngokusebenzisa imfundo enobudlova, zama ukuphula futhi ukuthobela intando yengane, ukuyikhuphula ilalele, kaningi, uma ingane inganakiwe, uzizwa elahliwe, futhi ehlonishwa, uqala ukuziphatha kabi. Ukuhlala isikhathi eside ezimweni ezinjalo kubangela ukufutheka okukhulu okungenamandla kumuntu, okungekho indlela yokuphuma. Ukuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo okungaqondakali kokuncishiswa nokuhlupheka kubangela indlela yokwakha ngokuzimelela eyakhelwe ngokuqinile.
Ungasusa kanjani i-masochism?
Ukubukeka kweMasoki kubhekwa njengokuthembela kwengqondo . Ukwelashwa kwe-masochism kudinga i-psychotherapy yomuntu ngamunye noma yeqembu. Ayikho imithi engasindisa ngokuphelele umuntu ovela enkingeni, ingakwazi ukuyeka ukucindezeleka kuphela, yehlisa. Uma uzizwa ukuthambekela kokuzibonela ngaphakathi kwakho, okubonakaliswa ukuhlukunyezwa okuvamile, ukuzimela, ukungazithembi, isifiso sokuzilimaza ngokwengeziwe, uzodinga usizo lwabahlengikazi abanolwazi.
Ukuze uqonde ngokugcwele ukuthi ubani ongu-sadist ne-masochist, akudingeki ukwazi ukuthi yini abanye abantu abayifunayo, kodwa nawe. Ekuphileni kwabo bonke abantu kubalulekile ukuthi bangafihli imizwelo yabo, kodwa ukuyiveza, bayichaze. Uma uzizwa ucasulekile, uzizwa unzima, ubanda futhi uzwakala ubuhlungu, unganqikazi ukusho lokhu. Funda ukwamukela usizo lwabanye futhi uqaphele izifiso zakho. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula kakhulu impilo yakho, ukuyigcwalisa.