"Amadoda ashintsha, ngoba ngokwemvelo bangesithembu" - isitatimende esinjalo sifana nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-madman futhi akukho lutho. Okokuqala, ngakho-ke tshela labo abangakwazi incazelo yale nkulumo. Okwesibili, ake sihlanganyele imibono ye "isithembu" nokuthi "ukungathembeki."
Mayelana namadoda nabesifazane
Ukucabanga ngesithembu sabantu kufanele kuqale ngencazelo yaleli gama. Ekuhunyushweni ngesiGreki isithembu noma isithembu kusho umshado omkhulu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi umuntu oyedwa unabalingani abaningi bomshado. Kwamanye amazwe empumalanga futhi kuze kube namuhla isithembu kuvunyelwe. Ngakho-ke, kulokhu, kufaneleka kakhulu ukukhuluma ngesithembu sesilisa, okusho ukunakekelwa, ukusekelwa kanye nokuqukethwe okugcwele komkakho ngamunye nabo bonke abantwana.
Indlela eya kwabesifazane ihlukile. Kukholelwa ukuthi intombazane ngokwemvelo kufanele ilwele ukukodwa komunye umuntu. Ake siqale ukushaya ama-stereotypes akhona futhi sigcwalise zonke "izikhala" zethu kolwazi.
"Ngishintshile, ngoba ngiyithembu"
Ngakho-ke, le ndoda ihlanganisa ukungathembeki kwayo nezilwane zasendle ezishiywe okhokho bakhe. Kuphela lapha, ngokungafani nemfuyo, indoda, ezimweni eziningi, ilala nobulili. Isifiso sokuya "ngakwesokunxele" akubanga ngenxa yesifiso sokuqhubeka nomndeni wakho. Futhi isithembu samadoda akusebenzi lutho. Ukuqhubeka kusukela kwencazelo yalo mqondo, ukuwuqhathanisa nokuziphatha komuntu, sibona ukuthi akekho umuntu ophuthumayo ukubiza zonke "unina wenhliziyo". Amadoda ngezinye izikhathi nomndeni owodwa awukwazi ukuqukatha, vumela ukhulume ngabambalwa. Kumelwe siqaphele kakhulu ezitatimendeni zethu futhi sizame ukuzithethelela.
Masingakhohlwa ukuthi sisabantu abanengqondo, sinikezwe unembeza, unembeza nokuziphatha. Isifiso sokuba nabalingani abaningi, ukungathembeki komuntu kukhuluma ngokungakwazi kwakhe ukuhlala ethembekile. Kungase kube nezizathu ezihlukene zalokhu:
- ubudala. Insizwa, njengokubusa, iyashisa futhi ikhuthele, yingakho ifuna uthando nezinjabulo. Njengoba uneminyaka yobudala, isifiso sobulili singase sincishiswe;
- izici zengqondo. Ukungathí sina okuncane, ukukhathazeka ngocansi ngesimo sezinkinga ezingokomqondo - konke lokhu "kubamba" indoda yokuba nabalingani abaningi bezocansi. Kuye, lokhu kuyindlela yokuqinisekisa;
- izici zomzimba. Ukudlula ama-hormone wesilisa ngezinye izikhathi kugxilisa umcabango wokuthi indoda ihlangabezana nokulamba njalo kocansi.
Izinguquko eziningi zabalingani zibangelwa izici zomuntu kanye nezimo, kodwa hhayi ngokohlobo lwesilisa nowesifazane.
Ngendlela, kumbuzo wabesifazane. Ukubuyela emqondweni wethu, akukho mqondo ekukhulumeni ngesithembu sabesifazane. Bambalwa abantu abadinga amadoda ambalwa, lapha ngenye yokubhekana nayo.
Owesifazane ulwela ukukodwa kwamanye amazwe. Nokho, ekukhetheni "owesilisa", ubaba ofanelwe izingane zakhe zesikhathi esizayo, uhambelana kahle kakhulu. Ngaphambi komshado, ingaba nenani elanele labalingani. Kodwa emshadweni, njengomthetho, ugcina ukwethembeka nokuzinikela kumyeni wakhe.
Kungani amadoda ashintsha kaningi kunomkawo? Okumangalisa ukuthi, isizathu siyakwazi ukuzivumelanisa. Kuzo zonke izinguquko emndenini, ebuhlotsheni nomlingani, owesifazane kulula ukuyisebenzisa kunomuntu. Ubunzima bokuzivumelanisa nezimo ezintsha kuphakamisa lesi siphetho sibe yisisombululo esilula kule nkinga - ukushintsha izimo nezimo. Yingakho amadoda eqala abathandi, imindeni yesibili. Mhlawumbe lapho bathola lokho abakuthola khona ekhaya.
Yiqiniso, le ndlela ayiphutha futhi iholela ekupheleni kokufa. Esikhundleni sokuthi "ubaleke" udinga ukuthola amandla futhi uhlele ubuhlobo nomkakho, ulethe ukubuyisela ekhaya lakho.