Ngeshwa, azikho izincomo eziqondile ukuthi ungakhanga kanjani umuntu omthandayo. Konke kuncike ezinhlakalweni eziningi kakhulu, sizozama ukunikeza iseluleko esijwayelekile esizosiza kule nkinga enzima.
Yimuphi uhlobo lwabesifazane amadoda alalela?
Okokuqala, ungakhohlwa ukuthi amadoda athande amehlo, ngakho-ke wonke owesifazane ofuna ukunakwa, kufanele aqaphe ukubonakala kwawo. Izembatho kufanele zikhethwe ukuze zibhekane nazo, zifihle ukungaphumeleli kwesibalo, uma kukhona. Isithombe kufanele sikhethwe ngokulinganisa nesilinganiso, owesifazane kufanele azizwe ekhululekile futhi eqiniseka kuyo. Ungafaki izingubo ezimbi, ngisho noma isibalo sakho siphelele. Ukugcoba umzimba, ukwakheka kanye nekhanda kufanele kufane nomfanekiso wakho, bese uqedela iphunga elimnandi. Ukubukeka komuntu wesifazane kungaba mnandi, futhi ukumomotheka okuqotho kungakuqhubekisa. Amasekhondi amahlanu kuphela akwanele ukubuka amehlo ensikazi, le ndoda yakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kufanelekile ukuqala lo mlingani.
Yini eheha ukunakwa kobulili obuhlukile kunokuba kubonakale? Yiqiniso, ukuziphatha. Indlela owesifazane oziphatha ngayo ekukhulumisaneni nabantu, ukuthi uqiniseka kangakanani kuye nokuthi ungakwazi ukusekela isihloko senkulumo. Kubalulekile ukuqondiswa endabeni ekhethwe yi-interlocutor, njengoba kunoma yimuphi umuntu ojabulayo lapho elalelwa. Kunconywa isikhathi sokuxhumana ngangokunokwenzeka ukwazi umuntu, ngomsebenzi wakhe, ukuzilibazisa, kungaba kuhle ukuthola izihloko ezivamile zengxoxo.
Ngabe ungaluthola kanjani olunye ucansi obuhlukile?
Ulimi lwezandla luzofika kahle . Uma ukhulumisana, akufanele uwele izingalo nemilenze yakho, ukunyakaza okunjalo kukhuluma ngokuvalwa nokungafuni ukuxhumana. Ukugxila kancane ekuqondeni kwakhe kuyokwenza ukuthi lo muntu akhulume. Ukwengeza isici sokuziphatha ngokocansi, ungakwazi ukunquma izinwele kancane futhi ubeke amehlo akho ezindebeni zakhe. Uma ngabe umngane wokuqala ephumelele, lokhu akusho ukuthi le ndoda manje ingeyakho. Kubalulekile ngezikhathi ezithile ukuvela ngokungacacile ezindaweni lapho kuvame ukukwenzeka khona, isibonelo, endaweni yokuzivocavoca noma echibini lokubhukuda.
Indlela yokuheha ukunakekelwa komuntu oshadile?
Inhliziyo, njengoba bethi, awukwazi ukuyala, ungathanda indoda eshadile. Kulesi simo kubalulekile ukuthi unqume ukuthi uzolilwela yini, noma uhambe kahle. Amadoda angahlukaniswa abe izinhlobo ezintathu: inkani, don Juan nabathandi, ngayinye yayo inendlela yayo ethize. Kunzima kumuntu onenkani ukuba athembele, ungumphikisi wezindaba zothando. Indlela eya enhliziyweni yomuntu onjalo kungenxa yobuhlobo. NgeDon Juan, konke kulula kakhulu, uyojabula ngokuvumelana nobuhlobo obwenqatshelwe, kuyisibonelo esincane mayelana nezinhloso zakho. Uhlobo lwesithathu lomuntu luthandana nomlingani wakhe osemthethweni, futhi ukuthatha umuntu onjalo emndenini akulula. Kubalulekile hhayi nje ukuthi ube umngane kuye, kumele akuthembele, bese ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukudlala ngothando kungaba lula
Indlela yokuheha ukunakwa kwangaphambili?
Ukuheha ukunakekelwa komuntu owayengumfana noma indoda kungumsebenzi onzima kakhulu. Konke kuxhomeke kwizizathu kanye nomsunguli wokuhlukanisa, kanye nokujula kwemizwa ehlangene nawe. Kunoma yikuphi, ngaphandle kobuqhawe besifazane kulesi simo akunakwenzeka. Kudingekile ukuthi usebenze njalo ekubukeni kwakho futhi ubheke, kufanele uqhubeke nobuhle, ubuhle nokuzethemba. Owesifazane onjalo uzothanda amadoda amaningi, ngakho-ke, angathanda ukuqala. Umhlangano wakho kufanele ube yinto engavamile. Ukuthi akakukhathaleli, akufanele ukhamuluke kuzo zonke izingqungquthela, umbonise ukuthi imizwa ihlangene kuphela emva kokuthola kumuntu ezinye izibonakaliso zokunaka.