Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu ukuba abesifazane baqonde amadoda, nakuba ingqondo yabo engqondweni ingeyona inkimbinkimbi njengoba kubonakala. Lokhu akusho ukuthi amadoda ajwayelekile futhi azinzima! Kulula nje ukuthi zicacile futhi azithandi ukucindezela konke, futhi ngokujwayelekile ziziphatha ngendlela ehluke kakhulu kubesifazane - lokhu kunzima!
Ake sijwayelane nezakhiwo eziyisisekelo zengqondo yesilisa, ukuze sifunde ukuqonda amadoda futhi sifunde ukusabela kangcono ekuziphatheni nasezenzo zabo.
Umlingiswa nemizwelo
Amadoda abhekene nokuqiniswa nokubukhali, ukungapheli nokuhlukumezeka, kanye nokukwazi ukumelana. Ziyaziqhenya ngamandla abo nokuzimisela futhi zizama njalo ukudlula abanye - ngoba ziyize futhi zibucayi kakhulu ekunqobeni nasekunqobeni. Futhi nakuba bengabonakali imizwelo yabo ngokukhululekile nangokwebala njengabesifazane, nabo bangabhekana nokucindezeleka, ukufutheka nokucasuka. Ubuso babo kuphela obuhlala bevinjelwe futhi kuphela ngezibonakaliso ezingaqondile umuntu angaqagela ukuthi le ndoda iyisimo esibi. Yingakho ingqondo yabo yabesifazane inzima - ingaqonda kanjani ukuthi umuntu uyalimala noma uyaphukiswa, uma engayibonisi? Ngakho khumbula nje: konke okuthinta ukuzethemba kwakhe kungamcasula.
Ukuziqhenya nokuziqhenya
Ukuhlambalaza nokugxeka, izikhumbuzo zeziphambeko nokuphuthelwa zilimaza kakhulu ukuzithanda kwabantu. Ngakho-ke, ngemva kokusho okuthile okungathandeki kanye - vala isihloko futhi ungabuyeli kuso. Emva kwakho konke, la madoda ngokwabo enza lokhu - njengoba bezitshengise ngokwabo empikiswaneni noma impikiswano, abakusayikhumbuli.
Bangabantu ngabanye - kubalulekile ukuba bazizwe ukuzimela nokukhululeka. Futhi abazishiyi ukuzethemba kwabo, nokuzihlonipha ngokuvamile kuvunyelwe, kodwa ngaphandle kwabo ngeke bakwazi ukuhanjiswa njengabahlukumezi namaphayona.
Kodwa ngenkathi bebheka ukubaluleka okukhulu emibonweni nasekuhloleni kwabanye, bona ngokwabo bazinakile kakhulu. Owesifazane ushintshe izinwele zakhe, noma ubeke ubuhlalu obusha, osanda kumemeza noma ukukhathazeka mayelana nento ethile-kungase kungabonakali kumuntu, futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani ukuqonda - lokhu kungokwengqondo yesilisa!
Indlela yokufunda ukuqonda indoda engxoxweni?
Akukho lutho olulula - ngoba umuntu uhlale ethi lokho akucabanga, futhi uma ezama ukukhohlisa, kuvame ukubonakala ngokushesha. Yilokho kunzima ukuthi ngokuvamile abantu abaningi bambalwa ngenani. Uma konke kuhlelekile - ababoni ukuthi kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngalokhu. Uma kwenzeka kwenzeka okuthile okudinga isenzo noma isenzo ngokushesha, amadoda athetha ukwenza ibhizinisi kunokukhuluma. Ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu kubo esimweni sokucindezeleka noma ukushaqeka okukhulu: nabo bayabhekana nokuzwa konke, kodwa kulula ukuxazulula izinkinga kunokukhuluma ngazo. Kulokhu singaphetha ngokuthi ukuthula kwakhe akusho ukungakhathaleli noma ukungakhathaleli, akwazi nje ukuthi uzokusho ukuthini.
I-psychology yesilisa nobuhlobo: indlela yokuqonda imizwa yabantu
Amadoda athande ukungathandi abesifazane. Uthando lwabo lungase lucacise izimbali nokuvuma okuhle nsuku zonke. Bakholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi amazwi akhulunywa ngelinye ilanga anele. Ngempela, amadoda awafuni ukukhuluma okuningi. Ngakho-ke ungaboni lokho umuntu akushoyo, kodwa lokho akwenzayo.
Umuntu othanda wena uzokuthi ungowesifazane wakhe. Ngeke afihle ubuhlobo bakho futhi athi - "Lo ngumngane wami," noma "Umkami," noma "Umlobokazi wami," noma "Othandayo."
Futhi uma kubalulekile ukuba uzwe ukuthi ucabangani ngawe - buza ngqo, amadoda angathandi amacebo. Ungasheshi nje ukuba uneliswe isethi yamabinzana - inomusa, ehlakaniphile, enhle ... Buza - kungani kuhle, yini ehlakaniphile, yikuphi okuhle kunazo zonke kuwe? Uma u-interlocutor wakho engakwazi ukuphendula - uhlangana nawe ngeminye yemigomo yakhe futhi mhlawumbe akazwa imizwa eqotho. Umuntu onothando angakutshela kalula ukuthi uyakuthinta kanjani nokuthi yini ayakuyigugu kuwe.