I-Gazlaiting - iyini nokuthi ingamelana kanjani nayo?

Kunezinhlobo eziningi zethonya eliphathekayo, kodwa umgomo wabo ukuphoqa umuntu ukuba enze izinyathelo ezidingekayo ngokumelene nezithakazelo zakhe siqu. Ngezinye izikhathi "isisulu" sizama ukumelana, futhi ngezinye izikhathi sivuma ngokuzithandela umkhohlisi, ngoba uyangabaza ukuthi kwenzekani okwanele. Lesi simo sibizwa ngokuthi i-gaslaiting.

I-Gazlayting - yikuphi lokhu?

Ekhulwini lama-60 ekhulwini leminyaka lama-20 umqondo ochaza ukuxhaphazwa nokuqwashiswa kwabanye abantu mayelana neqiniso lezwe elibazungezile kuye kwaba yinzuzo. Ibuyele esihlokweni se-movie ethi "Gas Light" (Gas Light) esekelwe umdlalo kaPatrick Hamilton "Street of the Angel" (1938). Ngemva kweminyaka engu-30 ukukhululwa kwesithombe, i-feminist yaseMelika uFlorence Rush yanyathelisa incwadi ethi "Imfihlo eqinile kunazo zonke: ukuxhashazwa ngokocansi kwezingane", okufingqa iziphetho mayelana nokuphathwa kwengqondo okuchazwe kwifilimu kaGeorge Cukor.

Empeleni, ukugcoba kuyindlela yokuhlukumezeka kwengqondo lapho umuntu oyedwa ezama ukuphikisa umphikisi wakhe. Ukulondoloza ukuqonda kwakhe, uphoqa umxhumanisi:

• ukungabaza enkumbulweni yakho;
• ukucabanga okungekho ngokoqobo;
• ukulungiswa;
• ukungabaza ubuqiniso bezinto ezenzekayo nokwanela komuntu siqu;
• ukuba acabange ukuthi uhambile ngengqondo.

Izinhlobo zokuxhaphaza - ukukhanyisa

Ukulawula ukuqonda komunye umuntu nokumphoqa ukuba athathe iphuzu lokubheka elifunayo kungaba ngamasu okuziphatha nokukhuluma. Ekugcineni, i-interlocutor (obani futhi oyisisulu, lowo umthelela oqondiswayo) uzocabangela futhi asebenze njengomphathi wezokuphatha. Iqhinga labo eliyinkimbinkimbi kunazo zonke yi-gaslight, ngoba liphazamisa umuzwa weqiniso. Kuphela okushiwo ngokuqiniseka ngesigcawu somphikisi "Kwakungenjalo!" Kuvimbela ukholo lomxhumanisi phakathi kwakhe. Umsunguli wethonya:

• unqabe ngokuqinile amaqiniso abalulekile kumphikisi wakhe;
• ukhomba ukungakwazi ukucabanga - ubulili, iminyaka, impilo.

Ukuzala phakathi kwabashadile

Izindlela zobudlova phezu kwengqondo ngokuvamile zenza abahlukumezi, abantu abahlala emphakathini, abaqamba amanga. Abantu abanjalo baqamba amanga abanye ngokukhohlisa, befakazela ukuthi umbono wabo yiyona yodwa yeqiniso. Futhi, "izimpendulo ezingavunyelwe" zingasetshenziswa imibhangqwana, ikakhulukazi labo abamukela ubudlova ngokomzimba. Ngemuva kokuphikisana nokuhlaselwa, ohlangothini olulodwa (umcibisholo) uzokuphika ngokuqinile ukungahambi kahle kwalo. Ngisho nangaphandle kokwazi ukuthi yikuphi ukuthungatha, abahlukumezi baqhubeka ukuyisebenzisa ngempumelelo.

Udlame lwasekhaya lwasekhaya aluvamile emphakathini wanamuhla. Ngokuvamile izisulu zokuxhashazwa yizithunywa zabesifazane ababuthakathaka, nakuba kusacacile ukuthi kungani amadoda eba iGazlayter. Ekuqaleni, isisulu asiqondi ukuthi lokho kwenzeka ngokuziphatha komxhumanisi. Kodwa kancane kancane uqala ukungabaza ngokwanele ngokwanele futhi uvumelana ngokugcwele namazwi omhlukumezi.

Ukusakaza izingane

Udlame lwengqondo lungenzeka ebuhlotsheni bomzali wengane, bobabili kusukela ezinganeni nasezihlotsheni zabo ezindala. Izibonelo zokuphathwa komndeni:

1. Uma umama noma ubaba etshela ingane yakhe njalo ukuthi akakulungele futhi wenza konke "hhayi ngendlela efanele."
2. Ingane ibhekene nento engakwazi ukuyishintsha ngenxa yobudala bayo: incane futhi ayikwazi ukuzikhethela, inikeza iseluleko, iphikisana nabantu abadala, njll.
3. Umama nobaba balingisa ubudlova emndenini .
4. Uma ingane ekhulile idala abazali ukuba bangabaza inkumbulo yabo ("Nginitshele (a), awukhumbuli?"), Lokhu kuyisibonelo segesi.

Umshini ovamile udala umuzwa wokunganaki nokwehla kwesisulu, futhi uyamcindezela ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Umsebenzi oyinhloko ukuthi ube namandla aphelele phezu komuntu futhi avikele okungalungile kwakho. Ngokungafani nabantu abadala, kunzima kakhulu ingane ukuba imelane nomuntu ophethe imishini, ayiqondi ngisho nokuthi ihlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo futhi ayikwazi ukuphunyuka kumuntu ohlukumezayo. Umphumela uba ukuzithoba okuphansi kanye ne-psyche ephukile.

I-Gazlayting emsebenzini

Umkhakha wezobuchwepheshe uphinde uwele endaweni engozini yokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo. Abasebenzi banoma yiziphi izindawo bahlale behlushwa abaphathi babo, ababahlazisa futhi baholele ekuhlakalweni kobuchwepheshe. Ungakwazi ukuthi i-gaslight iyini, umholi angakhamuluka kumuntu ongaphansi, shayela noma yini engafanelekile futhi esongela ngokuxoshwa. Futhi isisebenzi sibhekane kahle nemisebenzi yakhe. I-manipulator oyinhloko isebenzisa isu "isanqante nokunamathela", okungukuthi, isu elibili:

1. Okokuqala ubonisa ukuthi ungaphansi kokungabi namuntu okuphelele futhi oyisiwula.
2. Khona-ke uthi "uthabatha konke."

Ingabe isithandwa somlilo singathanda?

I-Gaziter yindoda evamile enezidingo zakhe nobuthakathaka, nakuba isetshenziselwa ukufaka imibono kanye nokuphatha abanye. Abantu abaye babhekana nomphikisi onjalo empilweni yangempela ngeke bakwazi ukubhekana nezingxabano ezisanda kuvela. Kunzima kakhulu emndenini. Umbuzo oyinhloko ojabulisa i-partner galaytera: angayithanda yini? Ngokwezinga elikhulu, umlutha wothando uthanda yena ngokwakhe, kodwa akukho muntu owehlukile kuye. Ngezinye izikhathi izenzo zakhe azizona ezinonya . Esikhundleni sokuhlaselwa nokukhwabanisa, ungabhekisa ukunakwa okukhulu, kodwa uthando olunjalo ngeke lube luqotho.

I-Gazlayting - indlela yokumelana nayo?

I-Gazlayt ubuhlobo bomhlobo okhethekile ohlala njalo phakathi kwabantu abaseduze noma labo abaseduze nabo (osebenza nabo, ofunda nabo ekilasini, omakhelwane, njll). Ukuze umelane nokuxhaphaza ekuqondeni kwakho, ungazama ukwenza lokhu okulandelayo:

1. Uma kunokwenzeka, hlala ngokuphelele ubuhlobo nomuntu ohlukumezayo noma ukhawule okungenani.
2. Thola ukuzethemba, amandla akho, ukufaneleka.
3. Uma uhlasela imemori embi, ukuze kungabikho ukungabaza, bhala phansi wonke amaphuzu abalulekile encwadini noma kwi-dictaphone.
4. Ungakhohlisi amaqhinga nokucasula. Uma ingxoxo iya esiteshini esingadingekile, yima.

Amabhayisikobho mayelana nokukhanyisa

Uma kwakukhona ukusola ukuthi okwenziwe ngomuntu kwenziwa ngomuntu, yini okufanele uyenze ukuze ufunde kabanzi ngakho? Izindlela zobudlova ezingokwengqondo nokuxhaphazwa "kokufaka endaweni yangempela" zihlanganiswa nezithombe ezithinta izinhlobo ezahlukene. Ngaphandle kwetheyipu ye-classic "Gas Light" (1944), eyanikeza igama igama elikhanyisa igama, lezi zithombe ezifana nalezi:

1. "Rebecca" , 1940. I-Hitchcock emnandi kakhulu mayelana nowesifazane oshayela kancane kancane indlu entsha.
2. "Ingelosi yasendleleni" , 1940. Inguqulo yokuqala yesikrini sokudlala kukaHamilton.
3. "Dogville" , 2003. Omunye wama-movie adume kakhulu mayelana nokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo.
4. "Ingane Yokuphefumula" , ngo-1968. Ubuqhawe bePolanski obuvusa amadlingozi buqinisekisa wonke umuntu "okuyiqiniso".
5. "Duplex" , 2003. Ukuhlelwa ngoGogo, oshayela abaqashi abasha abahlakaniphile.