Amantombazane amaningi akholelwa ukuthi kubalulekile ukushada ngothando, futhi uphume, futhi abaningi abakwazi ukuphefumula emphefumulweni wabo. Kodwa futhi kwenzeka ukuthi ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile emva komshado, oshade naye uphenduka ukuthi akayena "isikhulu" asiphuphayo, futhi uthando lwanyamalala endaweni ethile. Futhi ukuthi ungaphila - uhlala nomuntu ongathandeki noma uyingxenye nomyeni wakhe?
Ingabe kufanelekile ukuba uhlale nomuntu ongathandeki?
Abanye besifazane bangase bathi, "Ngiphila nabangathandeki futhi angiboni nanoma iyiphi inkinga kulokhu," kodwa iningi lesimo esinjalo lubonakala njengengozi. Futhi zingaqondwa, akuwona wonke umuntu okwazi ukuthola injabulo emshadweni ongathandwa. Noma kunjalo, kwabesifazane abaningi, ukwehlukaniswa ngenxa yokuntula imizwa akuvumelekile, kubhekwa njengendlela yokugcina. Ukuthi "isehlukaniso, ngoba angithandi" singakwazi kuphela ukuzinikela owesifazane ozimele futhi ozimele. Futhi abesifazane eningi baqhubeka behlala nomyeni, behlupheka ngenxa yokungabikho kwemizwa.
Kodwa kubalulekile ukubheka ukuthi kufanelekile ukuhlala nabangathandeki futhi uma ungasebenzisa indlela engavamile yokuhlukanisa.
Okokuqala engqondweni kukhona amacala lapho umyeni ekuthunjweni kotshwala, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukugembula noma ukugula kwengqondo okukhulu. Ukungafuni komuntu ukwamukela usizo kwenza yonke imizamo yomfazi onakekelayo nesineke kakhulu ingabi nalutho. Ukuzibulala emndenini kuyinkinga enkulu futhi ngokuvamile into engenziwa kuphela kuleli cala ukugijima ngangokunokwenzeka. Kodwa kunezimo lapho kungekho izizathu ezicacile zokushiya, futhi owesifazane uyaqhubeka nokusekela umshado ngenxa yabantwana, becabanga ukuthi badinga uyise. Ngokwemvelo, ubaba ongowokuzalwa ungcono kunomalume womunye umuntu, kodwa hhayi esimweni lapho kungabikho umonakalo phakathi kwabashadile. Uma ukuxabana nokuhlambalaza kuvamile, ingane kufanele ikhule emndenini ongaphelele, isehlukaniso sizoba yisici sokucindezeleka kanye, futhi ukuhlukunyezwa komndeni kuyomlimaza ingqondo yakhe nsuku zonke.
Kubuye kube njalo ukuthi owesifazane uqhubeka ehlupheka emshadweni, esaba ukulahlwa kwabangane nabangane bakhe. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi emadolobheni amancane, okungekho okhathalela ukuhlushwa okungokomoya kowesifazane ongazi ukuthi angaphila nendoda yakhe engathandeki. Ngokujwayelekile kubo isahlukaniso siphathwa njengabantu abalahlekile noma abahambahambayo, inketho "ayizange ihlangabezane nabalingiswa" nezinhlebo zendawo akucatshangwa ngisho. Kulokhu, ungeluleka into eyodwa kuphela - isahlukaniso, ngoba uhlala wena, futhi uma ubuyela emuva kumyeni wakho, khona-ke akukho mqondo womphakathi okufanele ube yisici esilawulayo.
Ungaphila nendoda engathandeki?
Ngaphezu kwakho konke okushiwo ngenhla, kunezimo ezivamile lapho owesifazane ejabule nokuhlukana nobudlelwane, kepha akakwazi ngenxa yokuthembela emibhalweni noma emqondweni. Futhi uma ukuxhomeka okunjalo kunganqobe, kuhlala ukuqonda ukuthi ungahlala kanjani nendoda engathandeki.
Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi abesifazane baningi izidalwa ezingokomzwelo, futhi uthando lungaba nemibala eminingi ehlukene - kusukela ekuhawukelweni. Into eyinhloko ukuqonda nokwamukela, kepha uma kungekho okufanayo emehlweni, kufanele sibheke enye indlela yokuphuma kule simo. Isixazululo esinamandla kule nkinga kuyoba umzamo wokunciphisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho. Ungakwenza lokhu ngezindlela eziningi - zizinikele emsebenzini, izingane, thola ukuzijabulisa okuthakazelisayo, zama ukuba
Kodwa-ke, uma uhlala nomuntu ongathandabuzeki ongenakubekezela, kungcono ukuhamba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunjani uhlobo lokuxhomeka. Indlela yokuphuma ingatholakala njalo, njengoba bethi - kunamathuba ayizinkulungwane, uma kukhona isifiso, futhi kukhona inqwaba yezizathu uma kungekho isifiso.