Intukuthelo nothando kuvame ukuhamba ngesandla, futhi kuthatha umzamo omkhulu nokubekezela ukuphula umbuthano ononya futhi uzuze ukuvumelanisa ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa ungasusa kanjani umhawu? Ingabe kulula kangaka, njengoba ezinye izazi zengqondo zikholelwa? Okokuqala, udinga ukuthola ukuthi lo mzwa uvelaphi. Yini ngempela umhawu? Ezingqondweni zanamuhla, inkolelo nemikhuba yomhawu inikeza ukunakwa okuningi futhi kunezizathu zalokhu. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngesisekelo somhawu, iningi lemishado libhujiswa, futhi ubugebengu obuningi buyenziwa. Kulokhu kulandela ukuthi umhawu uyisimo esiyingozi, esiyingozi ngomuntu onomhawu nangento ethile yomhawu.
Ngokuvamile amandla okubonakalisa umhawu asekelwe ebuntwaneni, futhi ukuthuthukiswa kobuhlobo bomntwana nezwe elizungezile ngokuyinhloko kuxhomeke ekuziphatheni okulungile kwabazali.
Indlela yokubhekana nomhawu womntwana?
Ngomhawu womntwana, abazali bavame ukuhlangana lapho omunye umntwana evela emndenini. Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lomzali, ukungadingekile nokushiywa - yileso sizathu sokubonakala komona wesintu. Ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi ingane ayihlali ingozi yokuziphatha, abazali kumele bahlakulele amaqhinga okuziphatha okulungile. Umhawu wezingane ungabonakaliswa ngezindlela ezahlukene, ngenxa yokuthi abazali bangakwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuqonda kahle imbangela yezifo ezingenalindelekile ezingqondweni. Ingane ingaba mnandi kumfowenu noma udadewabo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ikhala ebusuku, ingabe ingenangqondo futhi uzame ukunaka abantu abadala abanezinhlayiyana kanye nabangalungile. Iphutha elivamile labazali ukukhombisa ukunganeliseki ngokuziphatha kwengane. Into enhle ukulalela ingane, imnike isikhathi esengeziwe, imbonise uthando lwakhe nokunakekela kwakhe. Kunconywa ukusungula izingane zokuzikhethela ezihlukahlukene zothando, ukucela ingane emdala ukuba isize ekunakekeleni ingane kanye nesikhathi ngasinye ukudumisa izenzo zakhe. Emndenini ngamunye, abazali bathola isisombululo somuntu siqu sokubhekana nomhawu womntwana, into esemqoka akufanele ilahlekelwe umzuzu futhi usize ingane edingekayo ngesikhathi.
Ukuhawukela umfana nentombazane
Umhawu uvame kakhulu ekukhuleni. Lokhu kubangelwa izinkinga ezingokwengqondo eziphakama phakathi nesikhathi sokuguquka. Izinkimbinkimbi, okuhlangenwe nakho kwentsha, isimo sengqondo esibucayi ngokwakho, konke lokhu kubangela ukubonakaliswa komhawu. Abantu abasha bavame ukungabaza ngokwabo, ngenxa yalokho abazama ukuzifakazela ngokusekela izingane eziseduze. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabafana namantombazane kule minyaka buhlala buhlukaniswa nokubonakaliswa okubuhlungu komhawu. Ukuze unqobe lokhu, abalingani kumele basebenzisane ukuxazulula izingxabano zangaphakathi, futhi-ke, ngokuvamile bazinakekele. Uma umhawu ungabangelwa imizwa yangaphakathi kodwa ngemizwa yokuziphatha, khona-ke umbuzo wokwethemba nokuhloniphana kuvela. Uma omunye wabalingani enganelisekile ngokubonakaliswa kwemizwa yokuthengisa, kanti omunye umlingani akafuni ukushintsha noma yini, khona-ke ubudlelwano obunjalo buzobhujiswa. Ukuhlonipha kanye nokuthembela kuphela kungasiza ukunqoba umhawu nokugcina ubuhlobo.
Ungasusa kanjani umhawu wesikhathi esidlule?
Ngalesi sibonakaliso somhawu, imibhangqwana eminingi ihlangene. Akunakwenzeka ukulwa nalesi esidlule, kodwa akuwona wonke umuntu okwazi ukushiya kuwo wonke umuntu. Ukutshela okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambilini akusikho okunconywayo, ngokushesha noma kamuva kuzobangela ukungezwani. Kodwa uma konke okwenzeka esikhathini esedlule kuphakathi komuntu nowesifazane, kuzodinga futhi umsebenzi omningi ukubuyisela ukuqonda nokwethemba. Enye indlela yokuxazulula le nkinga ukufaka imizwa nemizwa yakho kumlingani wakho ngendlela yokuthi uzoba nesifiso sokuvikela nokusiza. Kulesi simo, esidlule, okwakusanda kudala isiphepho somhawu nokufutheka, kuyoba yinkinga evamile okufanele ixazululwe.
Indlela yokubhekana nomhawu womuntu?
Indoda enomhawu ivame ukugqugquzela ukungqubuzana okunomthelela omubi ebuhlotsheni. Uma umhawu ungenasisekelo, kufanelekile ukucabanga ukuthi umlingani angakwazi yini ukubhekana nokubonakaliswa kokungazethembi. Kodwa uma uqiniseka ngemizwa ngomlingani wakho, umbuzo uvame ukubuza: "Uzokhipha kanjani umhawu womyeni?". Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi kunezinhlobo eziningana zomhawu:
- Umhawu wesimo kwenzeka lapho usongo lokulahlekelwa isimo esithile emndenini noma eqenjini.
- Umhawu okhishiwe wenziwa lapho umuntu ngokwakhe efihlile, futhi izinkathazo ukuthi owesifazane naye uyangathembekile naye.
- Umhawu wesiyaluyalu uvela ezinhlobonhlobo zobugovu, ofisa bonke abathintekayo ukunikeza isimo sempahla yomuntu siqu. Abantu abanjalo abanomona hhayi kuphela abalingani, kodwa futhi nezinye izihlobo, abangane, izingane. Umyeni onomhawu ovezwe yi-despotism cishe ngeke ashintshe, ngoba akanakuvuma ukuthi uyiphutha.
- Abantu abangaqiniseki bahlushwa umhawu osolisayo. Bazibona bengakufanelekeli uthando, ngakho-ke bacabange ukuthi abalingani babo bacabanga ngendlela efanayo.
Abantu abanobugovu ngokuyinhloko bazenzela inkinga, kodwa kamuva le nkinga nayo iyathinta imizwa yomlingani. Ukwakha ubuhlobo, kubalulekile ukugcina ukuthi yini ebangela umona ngomyeni noma umfazi. Ungakhuthazi imizamo yokuhlukumeza. Ubudlelwane kufanele bakhelwe ngokuhloniphana, okungenakwenzeka ngaphandle kokwethemba.
Indlela yokunqoba umuzwa womhawu?
Okokuqala, ukuze uzuze ukuzethemba. Okwesibili, thola ukuthi i-satellite yakho isilungele ukulalela futhi uzama ukushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo. Kunezikhathi lapho umhawu uthola uhlamvu lomuntu, futhi kunzima kakhulu ukulondoloza ubuhlobo ngaphandle kosizo lochwepheshe.
Abayeni nabafazi abanobugovu abangaphezu kwesisodwa baba amaqhawe emisebenzi ehlukumezayo neyinkimbinkimbi, futhi izingcaphuno kanye nama-aphorisms of jealousy, okukhulunywa ngaso ngabantu abakhulu, bahlala befanele ezinsukwini zethu. Umhawu uyingxenye kuwo wonke umuntu, futhi wonke umuntu unquma ukuthi lo mzwa uzophulukisa impilo yakhe noma umlondoloze ekukhohliseni.