Izinketho zokuphendula umbuzo othi kungani ngingakwazi ukushada ziningi. Sizoxoxa ngezinto ezimbalwa ezifanele kakhulu kuze kube yimanje. Kulesi simo, ngeke sicabange ukubonakala komuntu oqhamukayo, ngoba ngisho nabesifazane bebhizinisi abakhangayo nabaphumelelayo bahlala bengashadile kuze kube yilapho bekhulile.
Kungani bengingashadi?
Isizathu esiyinhloko esenza owesifazane noma intombazane angakwazi ukushada kuyinto engaphansi kwakhe. Kodwa ukuhluka kwesimo sengqondo esingaqondakali kungabahlukaniswa ngezigaba eziningana:
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okungaphumelelanga kokuphila komndeni kwabazali, omakhelwane, abangani, ngokuvamile, imvelo esheshayo ivimbela umbono wesifazane ongenakuqaphela ukuthi kungenzeka umshado ojabulisayo. Lokhu kwesaba kuyabangela abantu ngesimo somzwelo.
- Ukudinga ngokweqile umfakisicelo ngendima yomyeni wesikhathi esizayo - esinye isizathu esingeke sikwazi ukushada. Ukuze kuxazululwe le nkinga, owesifazane udinga ukuphakama ezingeni lezimfuno zakhe ezimweni zokuziphatha, ezenhlalakahle ngisho nangokwecansi, noma ukunciphisa ibha yezimfuneko ezingeni eliphansi.
- Ukungavikeleki ngamandla abo, ukubukeka kwabo, amakhono kanye namakhono aboba abasafufusa abangaba khona. Abesifazane abathandekayo, baqonde, uze ufunde ukuzithanda wena, akekho ozokuthanda. Futhi ungamangali futhi uzibuze nsuku zonke umbuzo wokuthi kungani ngingakwazi ukushada uma njalo ekuseni esibukweni ubheka ngaphakathi kwakho kuzo zonke izinkinga ezintsha.
- Akunakwenzeka ukushada nalabo besifazane abaye babhekana nokukhathazeka ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni obudlule noma ubudlova bezocansi nokuziphatha ngokobulili kubantu esikhathini esithile sempilo yabo. Owesifazane onjalo evela kumuntu omusha ulindele ukulunga okunye futhi yena uhola ubuhlobo obusanda kuvela ngendlela ehlukile ukusuka ebucayi.
- Amanye amadoda ayesaba ukubekezela ngokweqile kowesifazane emshadweni. Noma ngokuphambene, ukuthobeka kwabesifazane kanye nemizwa efihliwe njalo iholela umuntu ukuba abe yi-stupor. Engazi izifiso zakho, akazi nje ukuthi yini okufanele akwenze futhi intombazane ayikwazi ukushada.
Kunoma yiliphi lalezi zimo nokunye okunjalo, kungaba khona indlela eyodwa kuphela yokuphuma: kuqala ushintshe wena nokubuka kwakho kwezwe, uyeke ukugwema ubuhlobo obuseduze obufunayo, futhi uzomangala ukuthi isimo siyashintsha kanjani.