Lapho ngibona isihloko sesihloko esihlongozwayo, ngangena e-kaleidoscope yesikhathi esedlule. Vala abangane, abangane nje noma abasebenza nabo ... Yeka ukungaqondakali okungaqondakali!
Ngokuvamile ngamunye wabo esikhathini esithile empilweni yabo waphakamisa umbuzo wendlela yokuhola indoda eshadile. Yiqiniso, kwakukhona esinye isigaba sabesifazane - abafazi, abavela kubo la madoda abazama ukuhola. Manje, eminyakeni eminingi kamuva, ngangifuna nje ukuwabeka ubuso nobuso - labo ababezama kanzima ukunquma ukuthi bangayithatha kanjani umthandi emndenini, nalabo labo lo mthande abeyindoda. Ngakho-ke, uma ucabanga ukuthi lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi uqonde ukuthi ungamthatha kanjani umndeni, ungachithi isikhathi sokufunda.
Kwenzeka ukuthi ngahlangana nalaba besifazane abasebasha ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ngamunye wabo ngaleso sikhathi wayexhumana nomuntu oshadile. Umehluko kuphela ukuthi ababili babo babecabanga ngendlela engavamile ngenhloso yokukhipha le ndoda kumkayo, kanti okwesithathu wayezithoba futhi wasuselwa ebuhlotsheni obukhona. Umbuzo wokuthi ungamthatha kanjani emndenini ngaphambi kokuba akhuphuke. Wachaza ngokucacile: "Ngeke ashiye."
Ubuhlobo bethu buhlala iminyaka emithathu. Yonke iminyaka emithathu ku-ajenda ngesimo esibindiwe njalo ibhalisele isihloko esifanayo - ukuthi ungathatha kanjani othandekayo emndenini. Omunye wabangane bami ngalesi sikhathi wanquma ukuzala futhi wabeletha isithandwa sakhe isithandwa sakhe, enye enye yonke le minyaka, wayezama ukuthuthumela ngezikhathi ezithile emini ekupheleni komuzi - ezama ngandlela-thile ukuthola ukuthi ulele ngempela egumbini elihlukile kumkakhe.
Ngisakhumbula izingcingo zabo nganoma isiphi isikhathi sosuku kanye nezimpikiswano zomkhuhlane mayelana nokuthi ungamthatha kanjani emndenini. Waba yini umphumela? Akukho. Impendulo yombuzo wokuthi ungasusa kanjani emndenini wendoda eshadile ayitholakalanga, kanti lo mshado oshadile wavela njalo nabangani bami kanye ngesonto - ngaphandle kokungokwemvelo, amaholide.
Kuthiwani ngamakhosikazi, okungaziwa, cishe onke ama-mummers awela ngaphansi komgomo olula: "Ungabeki i-closet!"? Ngikhumbula umlingani wami, indoda yakhe, ebiza izinto ngamagama abo afanele, edonswa abamnyama. Lapho umphefumulo obophezelayo wazama "ukuvula amehlo akhe," walalela ngomoya ophansi ezobuhlakani futhi waphendula ngokuthula wathi: "Kusihlwa ulala embhedeni wami. Futhi ekuseni uyavuka ebhedeni lami. Anginandaba nanoma yini enye. " (Othandekayo othandekayo, uma noma ubani ethola indlela yokuhoxisa indoda kumkayo obandayo-ngegazi athi into enjengale - sicela ungayigcinanga imfihlo!)
Ngomunye umngane wami, owesifazane ozolile kakhulu futhi ohlotshiswe kahle, sahlangana esibhedlela, lapho kwaphela khona amasonto amabili ewadi eyodwa. Khuluma ngokuthi ungathatha kanjani indoda eshadile, waqala nami - njengoba ngangiqonda, ngizama nje ukushayela okungenani umuntu oqoqiwe. Kwabe sekuyiminyaka eminingi inkulumo evamile yendoda yakhe, "Ngaya esitolo," kwakusho ukuthi uzovela kungakapheli ihora elilodwa - mhlawumbe ngezimpawu zomlomo wekhanda lakhe, noma iphunga lenhlobo ethile yamakha.
Yilokhu akusho kimi: "Ngeke aphinde afake i-divorce. Kuzodingeka ukuthi uhlukanise indlu, i-dacha, angakwazi ukuhamba ngesihlalo sakhe eMnyango. Ngizofaka isicelo sokuqhafaza mina-eminyakeni embalwa, lapho indodakazi yami isakhulile ngokuphelele. Ngivame ukucabanga ukuthi zingaki iziphukuphuku ezilwa nokuthatha indoda ngaphandle komndeni. Nami, nakanjani, ngiyathembisa ukuthi uzongilahla. "
Kuthiwani mayelana nendaba yempikiswano, ezama ukuhola phambili, ukugxeka, ukudiliza, ukudiliza?
Kwenzeka ukuthi iminyaka eminingi ngasebenza phakathi kwamadoda. Omunye wabantu engisebenza nabo bekunesigaba esifanayo sobulili obuqine, okuhlale kuhloswe abesifazane embuzweni othi: "O, kahle, ungathatha kanjani umuntu onjalo?" Cishe bonke babashintsha abafazi babo - omunye umuntu omkhulu, omunye umuntu ophansi , futhi kaningi ngendlela enobungane engivumelana nami, efuna ukuthola "umbono wesifazane ngale nkinga."
Ngikhumbula amagama omunye wabo: "Yebo, ngiyazi ukuthi ngingowesilisa. Angikwazi ukuphuthelwa ingubo eyodwa. Ngidakwa, ngoba nginamahloni phambi kuka-Olga. Kuhle ukuthi uhlale engithethelela njalo. Ngimthanda kakhulu futhi angisoze ngalahla - nakuba ngitshela wonke owesifazane engiphupha ukushada naye. "
... Kubonakala sengathi laba besifazane bazama ukunquma ukuthi bangasusa kanjani lo muntu, emuva ngalezo zinsuku lapho beqhayisa ngomunye nomunye hhayi "uvela kusuka ..." kodwa "bephuma ngaphandle ..." Indaba isitshelani ngalabo abakubo uphumelele? Ukuthi laba besifazane babeholwa nguMqondo, hhayi ngokuzizwa. Babengeke banesithakazelo sokuthi bangathatha kanjani abathandekayo babo emndenini, ngenxa yesizathu esilula ukuthi abazange bathande noma ubani. Umgomo wabo waboniswa ngamagama athi "Ungamthatha kanjani lo muntu" - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bayahamba yini nomfazi noma inkosikazi. Uyothi - kodwa kuthiwani ngemizwa? Ngifuna ukubuza umbuzo wempendulo - ingabe kukhona imizwa, futhi uma kunjalo, yiziphi?
"Akamthandi, uzomshiya maduzane, uthi uzomshiya, uthi uhlala naye kuphela ngenxa yezingane ..." Yeka ukuthi kudabukisa kanjani la mazwi kuwo wonke amazwe, kuzo zonke izilimi zomhlaba! Uma ngizizwa manje kunoma yikuphi kwabesifazane, ngizizwa ngidabukile, ngoba ngingakaboni ubuso bomngane wami waseMoscow omdala - omuhle, omncane, ohlakaniphile, ohlakaniphile.
Kungakanani amandla okungadingekile, izinzwa, isithunzi esasetshenziswa ekuzameni ukunquma ukuthi ungathatha kanjani indoda yomunye umuntu emndenini - okungekho indoda eyayiyohamba nayo, nokuthi ingamthatha kanjani indoda kumkayo - okungeke kuphele lo muntu. Uthando oluyimpumputhe? Kungenzeka ukuthi - ukuphishekela okuyimpumputhe, ukuphishekela ngokujulile umgomo, okwakungabonakali kubo kancane kancane waba yintuthuko engenalutho eya endaweni.
... Ngandlela-thile, kakhulu, isikhathi eside kakhulu, ngibheke kumngani wami - owaziwayo edokotela-wesayensi yengqondo. Ngangiyithanda imikhosi yethu nezingxoxo ngalutho (ngaleso sikhathi kwakunzima kimi ukucabanga ukuthi ngingazikhumbula kaningi kangakanani ezinye zazo!) Ngaleso sikhathi saxoxa naye ngalokhu - ukuthi singamthatha kanjani indoda emndenini? Ngikhumbula ngimbuza ukuthi angathatha kanjani indoda eshadile ngaphandle komndeni, uma konke kulungile lapho, uma kukhona umfazi omthandayo kanye nabantwana abamdumisayo.
Yilokho akusho kimi: "Ungathatha noma yimuphi umuntu, ngaphandle kokunye. Kodwa niyabona, kuyini inkinga. Umfazi uyinsifa, inkosikazi iyisihlalo sobukhosi. Kungani kufanele alahlekelwe umbhede, uma engenazo zombili? "
Ngakho uthatha kanjani indoda ngaphandle komndeni? Kusukela ekuqaleni, ngacwayisa ukuthi angikwazi ukuphendula impendulo yalo mbuzo. Yiqiniso, ngiqinisile, ngingasho ukuthi yena, ngaphandle kokungabaza, angathanda i-sofa, hhayi isihlalo sabakhubazekile - noma ngabe ukhululekile futhi emuhle lesi sihlalo sasikhona.