Akunakwenzeka ukuthi noma ngubani ozophikisa ukuthi ubulili yingxenye ebalulekile yezimpilo zethu, ukuyeka isikhathi eside nokuthinta impilo, futhi asijabuli. Kodwa akukona yini ukunakekelwa okuningi okukhokhelwa kulokhu? Phela, sibeka impela umbono wokuthi injabulo inokwenzeka kuphela uma kukhona impilo enobudlova obucansini, futhi uma konke kunokuthula, kungukuthi ngandlela-thile kungavamile.
Ukukhululeka kwezocansi noma ukuziphatha okubi?
Ukukhuluma ngokukhulula kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo, sisho ukuziphatha okungaxhunywanga ezimweni ezehlukene, okwenza ukuxhumana kujabulise ngokwengeziwe. Kodwa uma kuziwa ekukhululweni kocansi, khona-ke kukhona ukungezwani: umuntu ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kubonakala okuphezulu kakhulu kwesifazane, omunye uthi ukuziphatha okunjalo akumukeleki. Yiqiniso, umuntu angasho ukuthi bangaki abantu, imibono eminingi, kodwa indima ebalulekile kule ndaba idlala ukudideka kwemibono, abaningi bavele badibanise ukukhululwa nokungcola.
Iqiniso lokuthi abantu abaningi abalahla kabi - ukungakhethi ekukhethweni kwabalingani bobulili, kubizwa ngokuthi ukuziphatha kabi ngokobulili futhi akuhlangene nesihloko senkulumo yethu. Yebo, ukukhulula kusenzele ilungelo, ngokulingana okulingana namadoda, ukufuna ukwaneliseka ngocansi, ngokukhetha ngokuzikhethela bese ujabulela lolo hlangothi lokuphila ngokugcwele. Kodwa ushintsho oluvamile lwabalingani bobulili alugcini nje ukulahla umphakathi, luphinde lubangele izinkinga zempilo. Abanye ososayensi (Auckland, New Zealand) baze bacabange nalesi simo sokuziphatha, ngoba asikho izizathu zokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi ukucindezeleka kunomthelela kakhulu kubantu besifazane abaziphatha kabi ngokocansi.
Ukwehlukaniswa ngokobulili akusho ukucwaswa ngokobulili, kunalokho kuhilela ubudlelwane obukhululekile, ukungabi nokwesaba okukhulu nokuvuleka kokuzwa okusha. Owesifazane okhululiwe ukhetha indoda ngokwakhe, futhi akagijimi kumuntu wokuqala ohlangana naye. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kuyo yonke impilo kufanele kube nomuntu oyedwa kuphela, okuwukuphela kokubambisana kwabalingani kunalokho kubonisa ukuba khona kwezinkimbinkimbi kunokuba kukhululwe ngokocansi. Njengoba ngokuvamile kuvame ukuziphatha kabi ngokobulili ukufihla okufihlekile nokuziphendulela, owesifazane ozimele ngokwanele akadingi ukuzibonakalisa yena kanye nabanye ngokuziphatha kwakhe ngokobulili.
Ukukhululwa kocansi kubonakala kanjani?
Isibindi nesimo sokuzimela besifazane kubonakala ngokubukeka, nangendlela efanele, nangendlela yokuxhumana. Kodwa ngokucacile lezi zici zibonakaliswa ngasese nomlingani, futhi yikuphi okunye okuzobonisa ukukhululwa ngokocansi, kanjani hhayi ngomuntu olele embhedeni?
Kodwa konke kugeleza, konke kuguqulwa, futhi uma ubulili bomlomo wangaphambili babhekwa njengento engavunyelwe, manje cishe wonke owesifazane unalo ku-arsenal yakhe. Ngakho-ke owesifazane okhululwa (noma obani abafuna ukuba munye) kubalulekile ukuthi angabi namakhemikhali abonakalayo ocansi, kepha ungesabi ukuzama ezintsha. Ngempela, incazelo yokukhululwa akufanele ihambisane nokuziphatha okufake imfashini, kodwa ukwamukela kusukela ocansini injabulo enkulu ngokwayo futhi ukwazi ukwanelisa umlingani. Yingakho amadoda ngezwi elilodwa
Ngakho, ukukhulula embhedeni kuyindlela efanele yokuthuthukisa impilo yakho ebuseduze, kungani wonke umuntu enquma ukuziphatha ngale ndlela? Kunezizathu eziningana zalokhu, kungaba yinto yokuqala yokuphumelela ebuhlotsheni, kanye nomoya omubi emndenini noma ekukhuliseni amaPuritan. Kodwa ngokuvamile umlingani akakwazi ukuba ngowesifazane okhululiwe, azizwa ephephile kuye, ngakho-ke akakwazi ukuphumula. Ngakho akusiyo njalo ekuntulekeni kokukhululeka okufanelekile ukuzibeka icala, mhlawumbe eceleni kwakho akuyona nje indoda?