Ukuxhumana kwansuku zonke kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwethu. Amandla okusekela ingxoxo yikhono elidingekile kunoma yimuphi umuntu. Abanye abantu baqhakazile futhi bajabule kangangokuthi banakho futhi bakhanga abantu ababazungezile njengemagnet. Kodwa-ke, akubona sonke esazi ukuthi singaba kanjani umxhwele wokuxoxa. Kodwa uma unomusa ekukhulumisaneni, ungaba nethemba elihle empilweni yakho, hhayi kuphela ekufundeni nabangane, kodwa nokukhula komsebenzi.
Ungaba kanjani umuntu othakazelisayo kanye ne-interlocutor?
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi ungaba kanjani i-interlocutor enhle futhi enhle, kufanelekile ukucabangela ezinye izincomo kulo magazini.
- Okokuqala, funda ukulalela nokuzwa umuntu okhuluma naye. Abantu abaningi bathanda ukukhuluma ngokuphila kwabo, izintshisekelo zabo, imizwa kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, kodwa ukuthola umuntu ongakwazi ukulalela akulula. Futhi, ungalokothi uphazamise.
- Ukulalela ngokucophelela i-interlocutor yakhe, ungafunda okuningi ngaye futhi ngokufanele ubuze imibuzo esihlokweni. Uma ebona ukuthi banesithakazelo esiqotho, khona-ke umuntu onjalo uba mnandi futhi kulula ukuxhumana.
- Ngezinye izikhathi udinga ukwazi ukuzwa ukuthi i-interlocutor ifuna ukuzwa kuwe. Mhlawumbe udinga amazwi okuzwela noma ukusekelwa, noma mhlawumbe udinga ukugqugquzela endaweni ethile.
- Uma uqaphela ukuthi umuntu uyazi ukuthi angenza kanjani okuthile noma aqonde okuthile, qiniseka ukuthi ugcizelela lesi sidima nodumo. Wonke umuntu uthanda ukuhlonishwa futhi athi amagama amnandi. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukwenza lokhu ngobuqotho, ngoba ukuncoma okungamanga kuyaphenduka kuphela.
- Ukuze ingxoxo ibe eyakhayo nenenjongo, kuyadingeka nokuba ukwazi ukuthakazelisa i-interlocutor yakho ngento entsha nokuqonda. Ngakho-ke, ukuze uqonde ukuthi ungaba kanjani i-interlocutor edala futhi ethakazelisayo, umuntu kufanele alwele njalo ukuthuthuka kwakhe. Yenza isikhathi sokuzithuthukisa kwakho ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene.
- Kuyasiza kakhulu ukuthuthukisa idokhumenti yakho namanye amakhono okuxhumana. Kuyinto ejabulisa kakhulu ukuxhumana nabantu abakhuluma kahle futhi bangagcini amagama. Njalo wenze izivivinyo ezifanele ekhaya. Khuluma phambi kwesibuko, bhala phansi inkulumo yakho kumrekhoda, funda ngokuzwakalayo. Ukusuka ohlangothini kuhlale kucacile ukuthi kungcono ukushintsha.
- Zama ukwenza inkulumo yakho ihlanzeke, ususe amagama-ama-parasites.
- Qiniseka ukuthi usebenzisa ukumomotheka engxoxweni. Yiqiniso, uma kufanelekile. Ukumamatheka kungenye yezikhali eziyinhloko endaweni yabantu. Kuyasiza ukuphumula wena ne-interlocutor yakho, ngakho-ke, ukukhulumisana kuba lula nokuzola.
- Zama ungalokothi umgxeka umuntu uma enza okuthile okungalungile, ikakhulukazi phambi kwabanye abantu. Futhi ukhononda kancane futhi ungakhulumi ngezihloko ezimbi. Phela, ngomuntu ohle futhi ojabule njalo uyajabulisa kakhulu ukuxhumana.
Yini okufanele ufunde ukuze ube interlocutor ezithakazelisayo?
Ukufunda izincwadi kuyasiza kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni. Siyabonga, inkulumo yethu iba nempumelelo kakhulu, futhi ukuxhumana kuyathandeka kakhulu. Zama ukufunda ama-encyclopedias amaningi futhi ukhumbule amaqiniso athakazelisayo nethandekayo. Ezingxoxweni lokhu kungaba usizo kakhulu, futhi ungagcina ingxoxo nganoma yisiphi isihloko.
Ukuqonda kangcono okuzungezile kuzokusiza ukutadisha izincwadi nge-psychology. Incwadi ethi "Ukunqoba kanjani abangane nokuthonya abantu?" UDale Carnegie ufundisa ukuba usebenzise kalula futhi ngokukhululekile izimiso zengqondo ekukhulumisaneni kwansuku zonke nabantu abahlukene.