Iningi labantu libuza ukuthi lihlupheka yini, liphendule kabi. Emphakathini wanamuhla, ohlakaniphile nofundayo, ukucabanga ngokubandlulula sekuvele kubhekwa njengezwiveton, kodwa ngokwezibalo, umuntu oyedwa kwabayishumi angaziqhayisa ngempela ukuthi akenzi.
Ubandlululo - kuyini?
Izincazelo izazi ze-psychologist ezingayinikeza kulo mqondo zingahluke ngokuphelele, kodwa isisekelo saso sinye - sivimbela umuntu ukuba abe nombono wangempela futhi ojwayelekile wezwe elizungezile. Ukubandlulula kuyisinqumo somuntu mayelana nabanye abantu noma izenzakalo, izinto, zivame ukungaqondakali futhi zihlale ziba nombala omubi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amaqiniso anjalo amacala angacaciswa, futhi asetshenziswa ngaphandle kobufakazi. Uma umuntu ehlangana nokuphikisana kwangempela kokubandlululwa, ukholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi lokhu kuyinto ehlukile emithethweni. Nansi ingxenye encane kakhulu evamile:
- amadoda afuna kuphela;
- wonke ama-blondes ayisiphukuphuku;
- induna nonobhala omncane kufanele balale ndawonye;
- owesifazane akahlali esihlalweni ngemuva kwesondo;
- bonke abaseRussia baphuza kakhulu.
Ubandlululo nemithombo yabo yengqondo
Imithombo yalolu hlobo lokucabanga isuka ezinsukwini lapho umphakathi uqala ukuvela khona. Isici esiyinhloko sokuthi ubandlululo buvame ukungafani okuhlukile emiphakathini yezenhlalakahle, yamasiko nezomnotho. Ukubandlulula kuye kwavela njengokungalungi okuthile, ngenxa yolwazi olungaphelele noma oluphikisayo, ngokuvamile olutholakali hhayi kulokho okwenzekayo, kodwa ngolwazi lwabanye abantu.
Kungagcizelelwa ukuthi ubandlululo lusekucwaningweni kwengqondo umqondo wokubheka ubandlululo ngomuntu, izimo, izinto ezingase zibhekiswe esigabeni esithile noma eqenjini. Ukubonisa umuntu ukungabi namandla nokunikeza izimpikiswano ezingamqinisekisa ngokuphambene cishe akunakwenzeka. Inkululeko yokubandlulula ingenzeka kuphela uma ucabanga kungaphezu kwezingxabano.
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokucwaswa nokuzikhohlisa?
Abantu bahlulela ngento ethile noma ngomuntu, bengathembeli kuphela ekuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, kodwa nangomlando womndeni, abangane, imvelo, ukufunda izincwadi, amafilimu abukwayo. Kunezinto eziningi ezithonya umbono wabantu. Ukuthi "ubandlululo" nangokuthi "ukungaboni kahle," ngokuvamile kusho into efanayo, kodwa lokhu akulona iqiniso ngokuphelele.
- Ama-stereotypes ayizigwebo lapho kungekho ukuhlolwa okungokomzwelo okunamandla. Lokhu kubonakaliswa kwezibonakaliso ezihlukahlukene noma izici ezivame ukwedlula wonke umuntu oye wangena eqenjini elithile. Izigwebo zalolu hlobo zingaba nenhle futhi zibe nombala omuhle.
- Ubandlululo luhluke ekuboniseni ukuthi ukuhlolwa kwabo, kokubili iqembu elihlukile, lomuntu njengomuntu ngamunye, kunemibala kuphela, ngisho neyintando. Bakwazi ukuveza izimfanelo ezimbi kuphela. Into yokubandlulula yukuthi umuntu uvela kubantu abaningi futhi uhlukile kuningi.
Iyini inbandlululo?
Ukukholelwa okungavumelekile emibonweni yomunye umuntu sekuyisikhathi eside kakhulu, ngaphambi kokuba sizalwe. Lo mbono, ovame ukungalungi futhi ongenasisekelo, wenza ubandlululo, ukungafani nokucwasana. Ekhuluma ngokoqobo, ubandlululo yimibono ekhona ngaphambi kwesizathu, kwacaca ukucabanga futhi kwenziwa, ngaphandle kokucabangela okunengqondo.
Ubandlululo buza ezindaweni ezahlukene zokuphila, kunezinhlobo eziningi, ngamunye, ngandlela-thile, kuthinta wonke umuntu ohlala emphakathini. Ukholo ekubandlululweni luyindaba eyimfihlo kubo bonke abantu, kepha ngezinye izikhathi kubalulekile ukufaka ingqondo nokushiya kude nezinkolelo, uma kubekwe omunye umuntu, mhlawumbe hhayi ngqo. Ukucabanga ngaphakathi kohlaka oludalwe umuntu, okungenani, alithandeki.
Ukubandlululwa komphakathi
Ukuzivocavoca kubonisa ukuthi isisekelo sezinkolelo zenhlalo yilokho okwenziwe ngokusekelwe ezimweni zangempela namaqiniso umuntu angayibona empilweni yakhe. Ubandlululo, njengohlobo lwezenhlalo zomphakathi, luye lwangena emqondweni wabantu, ukuphikisa, abantu abanjalo akunakwenzeka, ngoba kaningi empilweni yabo bayathola ngokushesha ukucwasa nokucwaswa kwabo. Isibonelo:
- uma kungekho "okusobala", awukwazi ukuthola umsebenzi nomsebenzi;
- Ukuba umuntu ophumelelayo kufanele uqedele kuphela isikhungo semfundo ehloniphekile;
- bonke abacwaningi bamabhuku bahlekisa izibuko;
- amadoda kusuka kwabesifazane adinga kuphela "lokhu";
- ingane kufanele ilalele;
- imishini ephezulu kunazo zonke yiJalimane;
- Wonke amaJuda angabantu abaqili.
Ukubandlulula ngokobulili
Indima edlalwa yindoda nowesifazane emphakathini nayo ihlanganiswa nokucwaswa. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili okubandlulula mayelana nokuthi kufanele babe emphakathini, emsebenzini, emndenini kunqunywe yizici zemasiko. Lokhu sekuvele kube yisiko futhi sekuyisikhathi esijwayelekile, kuze kube manje emazweni amaningi emhlabeni awazange asebenze.
- bonke abesifazane bayisiwula;
- abapheki abakhulu bangamadoda;
- owesifazane kumele ahlale ekhaya futhi agcine umndeni womndeni;
- indoda kumele ithole imali eningi ;
- owesifazane kumele abelethe okungenani ingane eyodwa;
- indoda engenaye owesifazane ayikwazi ukuhlala;
- owesifazane onesizungu kunzima kuleli zwe.
Ubandlululo lobuhlanga
Sibheka ngesimo sengqondo sokuhlukumezeka ngomuntu othile emncintiswaneni othile, ngezinye izikhathi lesi simo sengqondo sinonya futhi cishe sifike ekungeneni. Thuthukisa ubandlululo olunjalo ngokumelene nabanye abantu abahluke ezintweni zobuhlanga. Kuze kube manje, icala lokucwasa ngokohlanga, noma ngisho nokucwasa ubuhlanga, lunezimpikiswano ezimbi neze ezimbi kuphela. Ukumangalela umuntu ngalokhu, umphakathi wenza kucacile ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi usephelelwe yisikhathi.
- babhekene nebala-ababulala njalo;
- Ama-Negro yizinja nabakhohlisi.
Ubandlululo lukazwelonke
Ukubambisana phakathi kwababameli bezinhlanga ezahlukene kubambe iqhaza elibaluleke kakhulu ekufezeni ukuthula. Izinkolelo zamazwe kanye nokubandlulula zakhiwe phakathi namakhulu eminyaka, futhi zavela emibonweni ngabantu, mayelana nesizwe sonke. Izici zokuziphatha kwabantu besinye isiko, imikhuba yabo nokuphila bafundiswa futhi bachazwe ngezifundo ezahlukene. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuba uqaphele kangcono abantu abahlukahlukene beplanethi, kusiza ukusungula ukuxhumana nabo. Iningi lezahlulelo lihlehliswa kakhulu, eceleni kwezenzo ezivamile.
- eRussia baphila abantu abaphuza kakhulu;
- eRussia, amabhere ahamba emigwaqweni;
- Abesifazane baseFrance - abahlanziwe kakhulu;
- AbaFulentshi bangabathandi abakhulu;
- I-America isizwe sokudla okusheshayo nabantu abakhuluphele;
- Wonke amaMelika unesikhali;
- isiNgisi siphuza itiye ngesimiso;
- IsiNgisi sinomqondo ongavamile wokuhleka usulu futhi bayashiya ngaphandle kokusho.
Ukucwaswa komndeni
Izigwebo ezibekwa umphakathi ngokuphathelene nokuziphatha komuntu siqu noma ukubukeka kwakhe, izibonakaliso ezihlukahlukene noma izinkolelo-ze, imikhiqizo yokudla iye yangena engqondweni yabantu. Ukucwaswa komndeni kuyisimo sengqondo esibi ngokuqondene nobuntu bakhe. Umbono ngokwawo unemibala enhle, lokhu akusiyo ubandlululo, kodwa kuyoba njalo uma ubufakazi obukholisayo namaqiniso awakwazi ukukholisa umuntu.
- isibalo esihle 90-60-90;
- Ukuze ube mnandi udinga ukuba nezici ezifanele;
- Amadoda afana namabele amakhulu kuphela;
- lapho kuhle lapho singekho khona;
- iminyaka engama-30 kumele ishade futhi ibelethe.
Ubandlululo lobudala
Njalo yobudala bomuntu, kusukela ekuzalweni kuya ekugugeni okujulile, kuhlotshaniswa nezinkolelo ezithile ezenziwa ngumphakathi, noma umuntu oye wanquma ukuthi akufanele kube njalo. Umkhawulo wokucwasa ungabhubhisa kuphela ngokubekezela . Izici zobuntu bomuntu ngesikhathi esithile akufanele zibonwe njengephansi.
- Abantu abadala banokubandlulula ukuthi izingane ziyizidalwa ezingenangqondo, ngoba zikholelwa emlandweni wezinganekwane.
- Abantu asebekhulile bakholelwa ukuthi abantu abasha abanandaba ngokuphelele.
- Abafana namantombazane abancane bakholelwa ukuthi abantu asebekhulile abakwazi ukuhola ukuphila okusebenzayo. Ngena phakathi kwezemidlalo, isibonelo.
Ukubandlulula ngokocansi
Ngenxa yalezi zinkolelo zikhona zonke izinto ezingalindelekile ezihlobene nokuphila okusondelene. Imfundo emihle yengane encane, ayimvikeli ngokuphelele kulokhu kucwasa. Ukubandlulula ubulili kuvame ukuqinisekiswa ngolwazi oluhlukahlukene futhi kuqinisekiswe nakakhulu nakakhulu, ikakhulukazi kubantu abasha nabamantombazane abangenalwazi. Iningi lezinkolelo-ze aziphazamisi nje isimo sengqondo ngocansi, kodwa yakha umqondo onjengesiko socansi.
- Ubulili buyinto ehlazozayo, awukwazi ukukhuluma ngakho;
- Ukuzibandakanya ngokocansi kuyingozi empilweni;
- kufanele ushade nentombi;
- ikhondomu iyanciphisa amandla;
- amadoda afana nabesifazane abanolwazi;
- Awukwazi ukubanga ngosuku lokuqala - lokhu kubandlululo.
Ukubandlulula kwezombusazwe
Ezingxenyeni eziningi zezwe elilodwa kukhona imibono ehlukene yabantu. Ngezinye izikhathi ingxenye eyodwa yobandlululo nokucwaswa kwabo akucaci nakwezinye iqembu labantu. Ukucabanga kwabo kunqatshelwe yizinkolelo futhi kukhona ukuguquka kokuhlukunyezwa. Iqondisa yonke inzondo yayo ngezinye izikhathi ngokumelene nalabo abangeyona into eyingozi ngempela. Ekulweni nokucwaswa okunjalo, izikhumbuzo zezakhiwo, amasiko nezindinganiso zenkolo zibhujiswa.
Ukubandlululwa kwamasiko
Ukuthinta, imizwelo - konke lokhu ulimi lwabantu bonke abajwayele ukuziphatha kwabo namasiko abo, kodwa lapha kwezinye izizwe, isiko labo sihlukile, konke kuthatha umbala ohlukile, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuthola incazelo ehlukile. Ubandlululo kanye nokuzibonela ekukhulumisaneni kwezomnotho kushiya ukushicilelwa kwabo lapho besebenzisana nabantu bezinye izinkolelo namasiko. Ukuze ungabanjwa futhi ungacatshangwa, uma uhamba emhlabeni jikelele, kungcono ukutadisha isiko lalawo mazwe ahlelwe ukuvakashela.
Psychology - indlela yokubhekana nokucwasa?
Ngomuntu ofisa ukuzithuthukisa uzinikela ekuthuthukiseni kwakhe akuvumelekile ukucabanga ngokuchofoza nokuchofoza. Abantu abaningi bazama ukuhamba ngaphezu kokubandlulula. Umuntu ngaphandle kokubandlulula ngumuntu okhululekile okwazi ukubona abantu bangempela babheka izinto eziningi ngokuyiqiniso. Indlela yokuqeda ubandlululo? Lokhu kungazuzwa ngokushiya ukucabanga ngaphakathi kwezinkolelo futhi ngokusebenza njalo emicabangweni nasezigwebeni zakho:
- Kufanelekile ukushintsha umbono ojwayelekile wezwe wonke;
- ukushiya iziphetho ezisheshayo nezigwebo;
- ukuqonda isimo noma isenzakalo ngokuphelele kulo lonke;
- njalo uphendule noma yiliphi iqiniso elithi "Ingabe lokhu kuyiqiniso?";
- njalo bakha imibono yabo futhi babheke, ngokuphathelene nakho konke okwenzekayo.