Singaba nezihlobo eziningi, kodwa izingane zidlula zonke, ngakho ukulahlekelwa kwabo kuzwa ngezikhathi ezinamandla kunokuhlukanisa nomunye umuntu oseduze. Omunye ucabanga ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuba asinde ekufeni kwengane esanda kuzalwa, njengomese, kuvulwa inhliziyo. Oomama abaningi abaye baphumelela kuleso sivivinyo bathi bangathanda ukunikela ngempilo yabo, uma kuphela umntwana ehle. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imizwelo iyancipha, futhi lo mbhangqwana unquma ingane entsha, uthola induduzo kuwo. Ngakho-ke, isikhathi esiyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu siyoba ngumnyaka wokuqala emva komcimbi odabukisayo, lapho yonke imizwa ikhula, futhi noma yisiphi isikhumbuzo sokulahleka siphendula ngobuhlungu obukhulu.
Abazali bangasinda kanjani ekufeni kwengane?
Ezinganeni sibona ukuqhubeka kwethu, siphupha ngekusasa labo, ngakho ukufa kwengane kubonakala njengokulahlekelwa yingxenye yethu, akulula kubazali bobabili ukuba basinde. Isivivinyo esinjalo singasahlukanisa umndeni kuze kube phakade, kodwa uma abashadile bedlulisela ndawonye, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuba bahlukane ngenxa yokuhlukaniswa okuncane. Mhlawumbe amathiphu alandelayo azosiza ukubhekana nosizi.
- Ungalahli noma yikuphi imizwelo yakho, ngamunye wabo uyobe olungile. Akukho lutho olubi ngokubhekana nokudabuka, ukwesaba, ukuzithoba futhi ngisho nentukuthelo. Kwakukholelwa ukuthi kunezinyathelo eziningana umuntu ahamba ngazo, ethatha ukulahlekelwa ngabathandekayo, futhi esigabeni ngasinye umzwelo othile ukhona. Kodwa ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi imizwa ayihambisani nanoma yimaphi ama-timetable, ngakho-ke ungazami ukuhlaziya noma yini okwamanje, vele wamukele yonke imizwa yakho. Khumbula ukuthi bayalila konke ngezindlela ezahlukene, ngakho-ke ningenzi izimangalo kumlingani wakho, owenza lokho ngokuhlukile kunakho. Mye aveze imizwelo yakhe ngendlela evamile.
- Uma uqaphela futhi wamukela imizwa ephazamisayo, zama ukuxosha abangenangqondo abangabasiza ekusindeni usizi, kodwa kuphela ukuwuveza ngamandla amasha. Lona umuzwa wecala noma intukuthelo (ngokwakho, oshade naye noma odokotela, abangazange bakwenze ngokwanele). Ngikholelwa, wenza okusemandleni akho, uma bekukhona indlela yokuphuma, uzothola.
- Ngemuva kokucindezeleka okunzima ngokomzwelo, isikhathi sokunganaki kungase kufika lapho umuntu engafuni lutho, futhi konke kwenzeka njengokungathi ephusheni. Ungesabi ukonga okunjalo, kungokwemvelo emva kwakho konke ukuvivinywa okwehlele, lapho isikhathi sidlula, umzimba nje udinga isikhathi sokuthola.
- Hamba usebenze ngekhanda lakho noma uthathe iholidi, cabanga ukuthi indlela engcono kakhulu yokukusiza okungenani ukuphazamiseka okuncane okuvela ekuhluphekeni. Kodwa ungahambi ukusebenza kuphela ngenxa yomqondo wemfanelo, ngoba amathuba okuhluleka okukhulu kakhulu, okuzokwenza kube nzima isimo sengqondo esivele sinzima kakade.
- Uma ungumuntu onokholo, zama ukuthola induduzo okholweni lwakho. Yiqiniso, inhlekelele enjalo ingashukumisa kakhulu imibono yakho yenkolo, kodwa mhlawumbe ukwenza amasiko wendabuko kuzokusiza. Uma ungenalo amandla okunamathela enkolweni yakho, ungaziphoqeleli, uthathe uhlaka. Futhi ungacabangi lokhu kuziphatha ukukhaphela, akekho ongakulahla ngenxa yezenzo ezinjalo.
- Unyaka wokuqala emva kokulahlekelwa kwemizwelo kunamandla kakhulu, ngakho-ke zama kule nkathi ukungathathi izinqumo eziyingozi, ulinde uze uphinde ukwazi ukucabanga.
- Zama ukungakhohlwa wena: ukulala ngokwanele, ukudla ngokuvamile, uphuze amanzi amaningi, ungasebenzisi kabi utshwala, futhi ungathathi imithi engaqashiwe udokotela wakho.
- Omama kunzima kakhulu ukusinda ekufeni kwengane esanda kuzalwa ngaphandle kokusekelwa okunamandla okunjengokuxhumana nezihlobo nabangane. Kodwa ungase ucabange ukuthi abakwazi ukuqonda ubuhlungu bakho, ngakho ukukhuluma nabo ngeke ulethe impumuzo. Emva kokuvulwa okunjalo, ungaxoshwa kuwe, thola abanye abantu abafana nomqondo, ngaphandle komyeni ohlanganyela nawe usizi. Thumela emaforamu nasemiphakathini ekhethekile, lapho abantu bethola induduzo, bahlanganiswe usizi oluvamile.
- Thola indlela yokuhlonipha inkumbulo yengane yakho. Yenza i-albhamu ngezithombe zakhe, ube yisishoshovu sokunyakaza, usize izingane ngezinkinga ezifanayo ezibangele ukufa kwengane yakho. Khanyisa ikhandlela ngokukhumbula ingane yakho nabo bonke abantwana abafile.
- Akuwona wonke umuntu okwazi ukuhamba ngale ndlela eyedwa, ngakho-ke unganqikazi ukuxhumana nomthandi wosizo, ongabuza ochwepheshe,
indlela yokusinda ekufeni kwengane. Mhlawumbe nguye ozothola amazwi azokunika ithuba lokuphuma esimweni sokulila esiphuthumayo.
Ayaziwa ukuthi kunzima kakhulu ukusinda inhlekelele enjalo ngokwayo noma ukubona indlela abazalwayo nabathandekayo abahlupheka ngayo. Ngeshwa, azikho izindlela eziningi zokusiza ukusinda ekufeni kwengane encane. Singaba yi-interlocutor engcono kakhulu olungele ukuhlanganyela ubuhlungu bokulahleka. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kungenzeka ukweluleka okuthile (isibonelo, ukubonisana nochwepheshe), kodwa lokhu kufanele kwenziwe ngokucophelela, ngoba umuntu osiziyo akanakwenzeka ukuba acabange ngokucophelela, futhi uzokwenza ngaphansi kokuthonya kwemizwelo.