Ingabe kukhona imizwa eqotho ezweni lanamuhla nokuthi ungazibona kanjani? Umuntu ngesikhathi sokuphila uthola ulwazi oluhlukahlukene. Akuyona njalo isipiliyoni esihle futhi esibuhlungu kakhulu ebuhlotsheni bamafomu "izikhali" nobuqotho bokubonisa "ukufa okufana". Kodwa kukhona abantu abaye babhekana nokuningi, abazange balahlekelwa ikhono lokubonisa ngobuqotho imizwa yabo.
Kusho ukuthini ukwethembeka?
Imizwa eqotho yikubonakaliswa kwangempela, kwemvelo kwemizwelo ezalwa emuntwini. Enhliziyweni yomqondo wobungcwele kukhona igama elithi "spark". Umzwelo, uvela njenge-spark, futhi ubonakale ngokushesha ezweni langaphandle, ngokuhambisana nokuziphatha, izimo zobuso kanye nesimo sangaphakathi somuntu ngesikhathi sokubonisa umuzwa oqotho. Ukuthembeka kusho:
- ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa "ifomu" elihlanzekile, elingafihliwe: injabulo, usizi, intukuthelo, intukuthelo, umona;
- ukuvuleka komuntu;
- ukwethembeka;
- ukucaca kwemicabango;
- isimo sengqondo esiqotho hhayi kuphela kwabanye abantu, kodwa nakuwe.
Psychology of sincerity
Isimo sobuqotho besayensi yokucwaninga kwengqondo sihlolwe ngabangqondo bezenhlalo. Ubuqotho bubunjwa ebuntwaneni. Umntwana osemncane akaqondi kahle ukuthi yini abazali bakhe abayifunayo noma abayifunayo, kodwa ngokungaqondakali uhlukanisa isimo sengqondo somama nobaba. Ukucacisa ngokucacile kubonakala ngokubonakala kwesobuso, ukuzithokozisa, ukukhuluma ngezwi. Umama uhlambalaza ingane, kusho izwi elithukuthele, kodwa ubona ukuthi ubuso bakhe abukhathali, ngakho ufunga "ngokungahambi kahle", kumnandi. Ukuthembeka komuntu kungenziwa kufundwa ngokubonakaliswa okungelona amazwi:
- ukuboniswa kwemizwelo ehlangene ngakwesokunene nangakwesobunxele buso;
- ngesikhatsi ingxoxo, umbono othakazelisayo oqondene nomxhumanisi;
- ukuziphatha okuhlelekile okudidiyelwe.
Ubuqotho nokuthembeka yilokho umehluko
Imicabango yokuthi "ubuqotho" nokuthi "ukwethembeka" ivame ukubhekwa njengento efanayo, iyafana, kodwa ayifani. Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuthembeka nokuthembeka:
- Ubuqotho buyinto engokomzwelo evezwe ngokuzwakalayo, okungaqondakali kwemizwelo: umzwelo owavela ngaphakathi futhi wabonakala ngokushesha ezweni langaphandle.
- Ukuthembeka kungumphumela wokuziphatha nezenhlalakahle, okuvela "ukuhlonipha", "ngokuhlonipha", "ukuhlonipha". Abantu abathembekile bahlonishwa emphakathini. Ukuthembeka kuhlobene nezenzo zomuntu.
- Ubuqotho buyinhlanganisela yenkulumo nokubonakaliswa kwangaphandle (congruence).
- Ukuthembeka - kuhlanganisa ukwethembeka nokuthembeka okusekelwe ezimisweni zokuziphatha.
Ubuqotho - kuyadingeka manje?
Ubuqotho bungumlingiswa wabantu kanye nabakhulela emndenini, lapho kukhona ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa okukhuthazwayo, kunzima ukuzivimbela ngokomzwelo. Abantu abanjalo banenkinga emphakathini, ngoba ukwethembeka kusho ukudluliselwa kokubili kwemizwelo emihle kanye nezimo ezimbi. Ubuqotho bubhekwa njengekhwalithi yobuntu obuvuthiwe, ukulungele ukumelana nokuhlekwa usulu, ukuphikisana nokuhlala uqobo. Imizwa eqotho iyohlale ifunwa, ngoba:
- Noma yimuphi umuntu, ngisho nomuntu ongenangqondo, udinga isimo sengqondo esiqotho.
- Emndenini - ubuqotho buwuphawu lokuthembela nobuhlobo obuvuthiwe phakathi kwabashade;
- Ekuthuthukiseni ingane, imizwelo nemizwa yangempela iyisici esibalulekile ekukhuliseni ubuntu obuvumelanayo.
Indlela yokuhlola umuntu ngobuqotho bemzwa?
Iyiphi intombazane noma owesifazane engaphupha ngokuzizwa nomlingani wakhe? Ukulinganiswa kobuqotho kumuntu akuyona into eqondakala ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngoba ubulili obuqinile bubeka noma yikuphi imizwa, ngoba ngokwemvelo umuntu "kuthiwa" kufanele avinjelwe. Ubuqotho bemizwa yomlingani bungabonakala ngalezi zindlela ezilandelayo:
- Amazwi omuntu awaphikisani nezenzo zakhe nezenzo zakhe;
- uyathanda ukunakekela owesifazane othandekayo;
- Ngomzuzu onzima uzwelana ngobuqotho futhi uzama ukunciphisa ukungathandeki komlingani;
- kubalulekile ukuba abe nokuchitha isikhathi okuhlangene;
- unikeza izipho;
- ukulungele okuningi abathandekayo bakhe;
- umhawu ngaphakathi kwemingcele enengqondo nakho kungaba uphawu lwezimvo eziqotho.
Indlela yokuhlola owesifazane ngobuqotho bemizwa?
Ukwethembeka nobuqotho kuqinisekisa ubuhlobo obuthembekile nokuphumelelayo phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane . Kuyini ukwethembeka ebuhlotsheni, kunzima kakhulu kobulili obuqinile ukuqonda abathandekayo ngobuqotho noma ukuzenza izinhloso zayo zobugovu. Amanye amadoda, ezama ukukhipha lokhu, hamba ngokweqile futhi uqale ukulandela zonke izinyathelo zentombazane yazo. Imizwa eqotho evela ocansini obuthakathaka ibonakala kanje:
- imfudumalo owesifazane ekhuluma nabathandekayo bakhe;
- unika imizwa yakhe ngaphandle kokufuna okuthile ngokubuyisela;
- Kubuhlungu indoda ukuba yithandane nabanye besifazane;
- ubona kule ndoda izimfanelo ezinhle, futhi uyamukela izimo ezimbi;
- uzinike isikhathi esiningi sokubukeka, ukukhanga kuye;
- Unentshisekelo ngesithakazelo sangempela ekuphileni komuntu othandekayo;
- Uhlanganyela nomlingani kokubili injabulo nosizi.
Indlela yokubona ubuqotho bomngane?
Ubungane kuqala kokuthembeka, ngakho abesifazane bakholelwa. Umqondo wobuhlobo besifazane unamandla amakhulu kakhulu. Abesifazane - abantu basengozini futhi banomzwelo futhi ngezindlela eziningi omunye nomunye kunabantu abathandanayo: ngubani ohle kakhulu, uphumelele noma uphumelele kakhulu emadodeni. Ubuhlobo obuqotho phakathi kwabesifazane bubaluleke kakhulu futhi kuyisipho okufanele sithandeke. Ukubonakaliswa kobuqotho bomngane:
- ugcina zonke izimfihlo futhi uxoxe ngemfihlo;
- angakwazi "ukukhala esihlotsheni";
- uhlonipha izithakazelo nezimiso zokuziphatha zomngane;
- uyajabula ngobuqotho empumelelweni futhi edabukisayo lapho ephishekela ukuhluleka;
- Ungabonisi izithandane zabangani bakhe;
- njalo endaweni ezoveza umbono obucayi, uma umphumela omuhle waleso simo uncike kulokhu;
- uyaqonda ngaphandle kwamazwi;
- uyakwazi ukuthethelela.
Indlela yokuthuthukisa ukwethembeka?
Indlela yokufunda ngobuqotho futhi uhlakulele ngempela le mfanelo kuwe? Izazi zengqondo zithi njenganoma yiliphi ikhono, ukwethembeka kungenziwa ngezenzo ezisebenzayo:
- Ukuxhumana nabantu abaqotho . Uma unaka, abantu abanjalo bazungezwe amandla akhethekile nesibindi, abanye bakhangwa kubo. Umuntu ongathembeki akakhombisi lokho.
- Ukufunda izincwadi ezifanele zengqondo . Kuwusizo ukuthi izigaba zinikezwa umsebenzi wokwehlisa ikhono lobuqotho.
- Ukuqeda izinkimbinkimbi . Ngokuvamile ukunganaki, amahloni kanye namahloni kuvimbela umuntu ukuba abeqotho nabanye, noma yisiphi isinyathelo sokuya ngobuqotho senza imicabango ebuhlungu ngokungafezeki kwakhe futhi esaba "yini abazoyicabanga ngami?"
- Ukuvuleka . Uma imvelo ingathembekile, kungani ungazami ukuziveza ngokwakho, ubonise ukuthakazelelwa kwakho, ukufudumala nokubamba iqhaza ngisho nabantu abangabazi. Kuphela ngale ndlela umuntu angathola ulwazi lokuziveza ngobuqotho.
- Sebenza ngenkulumo . Amazwi okushisa ekhulwini angase abe izibonakaliso zokungathembeki noma ukunganakwa.