Umhawu yilo, umzwelo oye washintsha futhi wahamba nathi endleleni yonke yokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Kuyindlela yakhe yokuziphendukela kwemvelo ukuthi yimbangela yokwahlukana komhawu wabesilisa nabesifazane. Ngempela, ukuziphendukela kwemvelo kanye nomsebenzi sinehlukile. Namuhla sizoxoxa ngezimbangela kanye nokubonakaliswa komhawu wesilisa, nakuba ukubonakaliswa kwabesifazane kwalesi simo sokulima kuyathandwa kakhulu.
Izimbangela zomhawu
Amadoda anesisusa esisodwa nje somhawu - amadoda angeke abe yi-100% eqinisekisiwe ukuthi ingane yakho ejwayelekile ingumntwana wakhe ngempela. Ungathukuthela futhi uphendule ukuthi awusenayo izingane, kodwa le nsizwa isasebenza njenge-Othello yokugcina. Ungakhathazeki, ungahle ube nezingane, kodwa umhawu uzohlala njalo. Njengoba sesishilo kakade, umhawu ungu-evolutionary, umuzwa wasendulo ohlose ukuvikela umndeni ekuhlaselweni kwabangaphandle. Indoda, engazi ngokwayo, ngokukhathazeka ngokweqile ukuthi "owesifazane" wakhe uzoletha ingane yomunye endlini, akukho lutho olwesabekayo kunomuntu kunalokhu.
I-psychology yomhawu emadodeni injalo ukuthi ukungabi ubaba wezinto eziphilayo kuyimfucuza elula, okusho ukutshalwa kwemithombo ebalulekile, ekulondolozeni esikhathini esizayo izakhi zomncintiswano, hhayi ezakhe. Mhlawumbe, ukuqonda lezi zimzwelo ezinomthelela ezikhethiwe zomuntu akhethiweyo, ingabe labesifazane bayoyeka ukuthuca amafutha emlilweni?
Umhawu nesici sayo somzimba
Ngokwengqondo nangokwemvelo, konke sekuvele kucacile, kodwa bewazi ukuthi umhawu ubonakalisa ngokomzimba? Ngemuva kokuhlukaniswa isikhathi eside, isibonelo, omunye wenu wayekude, ekuhambeni kwebhizinisi, phakathi kwamadoda, kukhululwa isisu esikhulu ngesikhathi sokulala kunokujwayelekile. Akukhona ngoba wayenesithukuthezi noma wayengahlali isikhathi eside. Uma bekukhona ukuyeka ukuhlala isikhathi eside, kodwa ubuye ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngeke kube khona ukwanda kwevolumu yesidoda. Isizathu silula - umzimba wesilisa, "wesaba" ukuthi unesixhumanisi "somuntu ongaziwa", unikezela ababulali besilisa ukuba basuse imbewu yomncintiswano. Amadoda angase angazi ngalezi zenzakalo, hhayi ngisho nokuqaphela. Kodwa lokhu kuyisinye isiqinisekiso sokuthi ukubonakaliswa komhawu emadodeni kuhlose ukulondoloza izakhi zakhe zomzimba.
Ukubonakaliswa komhawu
Manje ake sikhulume ngokuthi umona wesilisa ubonakala kanjani, okungukuthi, yiziphi izimpawu zomhawu kubantu (ukuze uqaphele ingozi ngesikhathi):
- lo muntu ophika ngokuphelele ukuthi unomhawu, ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ephika kakhulu, umhawu omkhulu;
- le ndoda ibonisa isithakazelo esingakaze senzeke empilweni yakho - kuphi futhi ngubani, mayelana nokuxoxwa ngakho, obone, nokunye;
- indoda ilawula ngokuqinile i-wardrobe yakho - into evelele ngokwengeziwe, into engaphezu kwebala elimhlophe, noma kangcono nje umkhumbi;
- indoda izama ukunciphisa oxhumana nabo bezenhlalo - nabangani, izihlobo, ozakwabo;
- indoda iyakuthukuthele lapho uhlala ndawonye enkampanini - hhayi phansi phansi, noma usho okuthize, hhayi ukubuka kanjalo.
Kungenzeka yini ukulwa nomhawu?
Mhlawumbe, kwabesifazane abafuna ukwazi lapho imilenze yesikhwele besilisa ikhula khona, into ethakazelisayo kakhulu indlela yokubhekana nomhawu womuntu? Ukwelashwa komhawu kungenakwenzeka futhi akudingekile, khumbula, umona yisithelo sokuziphendukela kwemvelo nokuxhumana kwethu ngokwemvelo. Kodwa owesifazane onomhawu angenza okuningi:
- ukuyeka ukukhuluma ngothando ngothando futhi wakhe amehlo ekudalwa kwesilisa kokuqala phambi kwendoda yakhe;
- Phakamisa ukuzethemba komhawu wakho - mtshele (ngokukholisayo!) Ukuthi uyena-ohlakaniphe kakhulu, omuhle, omuhle futhi othandekayo;
- okubaluleke kakhulu - ungafaki amafutha ngokwawo emlilweni, ngoba abesifazane bavame ukunikeza amadoda isizathu sokuba nomona ngenjabulo yabo;
- uma unganiki isizathu sokuba nomhawu, futhi ukufutheka komuntu akupheli - uye kumuntu wezengqondo, ngoba umhawu oqinile futhi onamandla wokuziphatha ungabangela ngisho nokubulala nokuzibulala .
Ungadlali ngezakhi zofuzo!